


Aren't You Happy To See Me?

by nyonya_laura



Series: We can fix this. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Murder, Barebacking, Bottom Castiel, Canon-Typical Violence, Coda, Coming Untouched, Demon Cure, Demon Deals, Demon Dean, Demon Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Dying Castiel, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s10e02 Reichenbach, Episode: s10e03 Soul Survivor, Fallen Castiel, First Time, Graceless Castiel, Inexperienced Castiel, Innocent Castiel, Kidnapped Castiel, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, POV Castiel, POV Dean, POV Dean Winchester, POV Sam Winchester, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Rough Oral Sex, Smut, Threats, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Top Dean, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, Weak Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:32:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7128452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyonya_laura/pseuds/nyonya_laura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Mark of Cain has turned Dean into a demon. Both Castiel and Sam are trying their hardest to bring him back to the bunker in order to cure him. However, what happens when Dean tracks a graceless Castiel down first?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It has been too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, just the writing.

Saying that Castiel felt guilty was an understatement. He screwed up. Ever since they found out that Dean had become a demon, both he and Sam were determined to track him down. Both of them wanted nothing more than getting Dean back to the bunker in order to try out the ritual of purified blood. 

Maybe, Castiel was even more determined than Sam, because whereas Sam remained calm and calculated in their hunts, Castiel didn’t. He couldn’t help it. However, his actions caused Sam to get hurt, and therefore, he didn't even blame the hunter for wanting to go their separate ways. Sam's arm did end up in a cask because of him after all. 

Still, after being on his own for the past few weeks, Castiel had to admit that he did miss the younger Winchester’s company. Even though he never was as close to Sam as he was to Dean, they did develop a friendship over the years. Dean certainly wasn't the only Winchester he considered a good friend. Thus, losing Sam only added to Castiel’s sense of misery. 

His grace was fading, he was feeling awful, he missed heaven, but most of all, he missed Dean. He missed him, and he felt guilty. He still considered himself the Winchester's guardian and he felt that somehow he should have been there to protect him from Metatron. Nevertheless, he knew that there was no use in looking at the past and in thinking about how he could have handled things differently. The only thing he could do now, was trying to fix things. 

All his days looked the same lately. After getting up and eating breakfast, he researched about Dean’s whereabouts for hours on end, then around six, he would eat dinner. In the evenings, he would do some more research and sometimes call Sam to talk. He even called Crowley regularly, in the hope that he would pick up, but his attempts to contact the demon never prevailed. Hearing his call go to voicemail again tonight, Castiel wondered why he even kept trying. 

After he put his phone on the nightstand, Castiel decided to call it a night; he would carry on his research in the morning. At first, sleeping was something foreign to Castiel. In particular when he was newly human it was something difficult to adjust to. However, he eventually did get used to it, and in his current weakened state he even welcomed it. For a few hours, he would have peace. Yet, falling asleep was a different story, it would always take him a while before he would finally be able to fall asleep. This night was the same. For what felt like hours, Castiel lay tossing and turning in his motel bed. Tonight, it were Metatron's words that kept him awake.

_Oh, that's right, to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too._

Castiel could honestly say that that was one of the worst moments of his existence. Yet, he tried not to think about it any longer and attempted to fall asleep. 

However, Castiel startled when he suddenly heard loud sounds from outside his motel room. He instinctively reached for his angel blade, but thought better of it, suspecting it to be a group of drunk kids or something like that. He tried to fall asleep again until he heard footsteps approaching his room which stopped right in front of his door. 

The only thing Castiel managed to do before his door was kicked open was getting up out of bed and grabbing his blade. The room was still dark but due to the faint light coming from the hallway Castiel immediately recognised the person standing in his doorway. 

It was Dean. 

Shock and confusion washed over him and he felt glued to the spot as he watched Dean switch on the light. 

It felt surreal to encounter Dean again. It had been quite a while since Castiel had seen him, yet he looked mostly the same, only his hair was slightly different. And though Castiel knew that it was a demon standing in front of him, because of fading grace, he saw only Dean. And he had to admit that a part of him was glad to see him again.

‘’Castiel.’’ Dean said, grinning at him. 

Then, Dean was looking him up and down in a way that made Castiel feel slightly uncomfortable. It was not just the way Dean was looking at him and the fact that he was only wearing a loose bathrobe, it was also the way Dean said his name. It felt weird. 

‘’It has been too long. I missed you.’’ Dean continued as he closed the door. 

‘’Dean. Wh-what are you doing here?’’ Castiel asked. He still couldn't believe that Dean was here. 

‘’Cas, come on. I haven’t forgotten about you, how could I? And I know you haven’t forgotten about me, you have been looking for me.' He paused and smirked. 'So, aren’t you happy to see me?’’

‘’Dean, we have been looking for you, Sam and I. We have been looking for months! We want to help you, Dean… We can fix this.’’ 

Castiel felt both frustrated and desperate and looked at Dean pleadingly. Yet, somehow he got the feeling that his words weren’t getting through to Dean at all. 

‘’Aw, Cas I really appreciate that, but I don’t need or want your help.’’ Dean sneered while taking a few steps towards him. ‘’Besides, what could a weak little angel like you even do for me?’’ He added, smirking.

Now, anger washed over Castiel, he wasn’t used to being talked to like that, especially not by Dean. However, a part of him also knew that what Dean said was true: he was weak and powerless, and he felt uneasy knowing that Dean was aware of that. This Dean, who was dangerous and probably very strong. Castiel knew he could only imagine how powerful Dean had become.

It was clear that their roles were drastically reversed now, and Castiel couldn't help but feel a little unsettled, intimidated even, by that new power imbalance. 

''I'm not weak.'' He snarled, but he knew he wasn't convincing anyone.

Dean just smiled. ''Oh, but I think you are. See, it's been a while, hasn't it, since you stole that one angel's grace. So... I figure, that that won't last for all that long.' Dean looked him up and down again before he continued. 'And judging from how you're looking, you can't be feeling so well. So, I wonder: how can you think that you can save me, if you can't even take care of yourself?''

Castiel dropped his gaze, both because Dean was right and because he hated to be reminded of what he'd become.

''Oh, I'm sorry Cas.' Dean said mockingly. 'Still having a hard time accepting that you're as good as useless now?'' 

The words stung badly, so Castiel took a deep breath in an attempt to try and maintain his composure. ‘’If you are not here for our help than why are you here?’’ 

Suddenly anger started to become visible on Dean’s face. He scoffed. ''You want to know why I’m here? I am here because I am _sick_ of looking over my shoulders all the time. Not that I consider you or my brother as an actual threat or anything, but still. I mean, why do you think I wrote that fucking note to Sam in the first place? I told him to let me go and I meant that. But you two just couldn’t do that now, could you!?'' He cried angrily. ''I know you and Sam have been pestering Crowley to sell me out. I know you have been following my credit card trail. I know about all those demons you hunted down together and tortured in order to get to me. You two have been a complete pain in my ass lately and I am so _done.’’_ Dean snarled as he took a few more steps towards him. He looked angry and Castiel felt threatened in a way Dean had never made him feel before. 

He wanted to take a step back, wanting to put some distance between them, but he stood his ground; he didn't want Dean to know that he was scared. 

Castiel met Dean's eyes again. ‘’So, you are here to kill me?’’ He asked.

Dean's expression suddenly turned menacing. He smiled. ‘’No angel, I have a much better way to get the two of you off my back.’’

Then Dean suddenly lunged towards Castiel in an attempt to rid the angel of his blade. Castiel however, managed to dodge him and shove Dean against the wall instead. He then ran as fast as he could towards his duffel to get to the flask of holy water. It was the only thing he had that would work on a demon beside the blade that he did not want to use it on Dean. 

He got to the flask just in time, because when he turned around, Dean was only a few steps from him. Castiel immediately threw the flask’s contents onto Dean and the effect was immediate. Dean cried out in pain and stumbled back a few steps. 

Castiel hated that he didn’t have any means to incapacitate Dean, like the cuffs the brothers used once on Crowley. If he had, he maybe would have been able to get Dean to the bunker and get him cured. However, Castiel only had his blade and the holy water.

Castiel also knew that his chances to physically overpower Dean were close to none; even if he had his grace and was at full power, he probably would still be no match against a Knight of Hell. Therefore, Castiel resolved that the best thing now for him to do was to just run. 

So, Castiel ran towards the door and he managed to open it just a bit, but his plans of leaving left him when he suddenly saw Dean’s hand pulling the door back shut again. Castiel turned around and before he knew it, he was slammed and pressed against the wall by Dean. Dean gripped his right shoulder tightly and with his other hand, Dean pulled Castiel's angel blade out of his hands and pushed it against his throat. 

Dean looked pissed. 

‘’Hmm... I guess I underestimated you. You’re not quite as weak as I thought you were.’’ 

‘’That’s because I’m not.’’ Castiel snarled. 

Dean chuckled, which only made Castiel’s anger rise more. 

_‘’Sure.’’_

Castiel struggled in a desperate attempt free himself out of Dean's grip, but Dean's grip on him was just too strong.

''Cas. Cas! Stop!'' Dean ordered. ''There is no use in struggling, you're not getting away from me!''

And Castiel stopped, realising the truth behind Dean's words. Struggling against Dean wasn't going to get him anywhere; Dean's grip on him was strong and it also probably wasn't the best idea since Castiel felt his angel blade pressed dangerously against his throat.

He suddenly felt helpless. There was nothing he wanted more than to help Dean, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to reason with him. Nevertheless, even though he knew it was pointless, he pleaded with him.

‘’Dean, _please._ Just... just come with me, we can go to Sam and-‘’

Dean didn't even let him finish. ‘’Forget it.'' He snarled.

''Please, this isn't you! Let us help you. We can-''

''Yeah, I don’t think so _sweetheart.''_ He said and suddenly he was smiling again. 'See, this is how it’s going to go. You and I are going to take a little trip to hell together, where I’ll keep you until Sammy promises that you two will stop looking for me.’’

‘’I-I am not going anywhere with you.’’ Castiel said, confused by both what Dean had just called him as well as by Dean's plan of taking him to hell. Castiel just couldn't understand for what purpose Dean would want to take him there; he had no information, he was dying, there was nothing. Surely, it made much more sense for Dean to just kill him.

‘’What? Why not? I told you it was a good plan; it doesn’t even involve killing anyone.'' Dean then paused and for a moment, his eyes dropped from Castiel's eyes to his mouth. Then he spoke on. ''So, be a good little angel and cooperate, yeah?’’ 

Castiel was still confused, but tried his best not to look it. ‘’Bite me.’’ he snarled in Dean's own words.

Dean chuckled. ‘’Aw, that's cute.’’ He said, before slamming Castiel’s head against the wall. Hard.

And Castiel saw black.

 

 

xxx

 

 

Pain. That was the first sensation Castiel experienced when he came to. His head hurt and it didn’t take long for the memories of Dean’s visit to come back to him.

He didn’t know where he expected to wake up, but the impala wasn’t it. However, there he was, on the passenger’s seat next to Dean, cuffed against the door handle. He pulled at the cuffs, but they wouldn’t give. Castiel watched curiously at the sigils on them. These were not the same cuffs as the ones that the brothers had used on Crowley. These were especially made for angels...

‘’Yeah, they’re new.’’ Dean said. ‘’Crowley had them made for me, can you believe it?’’

Castiel said nothing, he didn’t know how to respond to that.

Dean chuckled. ‘’He actually wasn’t all that enthusiastic about the idea of me taking you and all, but he knows better by now than trying to tell me what to do.’’

Castiel actually found that interesting. Dean already had him wondering about how Crowley fitted into Dean’s plan of bringing him to hell and keep him. Apparently, Crowley didn’t have that much of a say in the matter. 

This made him wonder about just how much influence Dean actually had on Crowley, and thereby over hell and demons in general. Yet, he didn’t know if Dean gaining influence over Crowley and hell actually was a good or not.

While he still was looking down at the cuffs, another realisation struck him: he was dressed. He hadn't been before, when Dean had struck him down, not really anyway; he had only been wearing his boxers and the bathrobe. Now however, he was in his usual attire. The only things missing were his trench coat, suit jacket and tie. Castiel didn’t know exactly why, but he felt weird about the fact that Dean had undressed and dressed him while he was unconscious.

It was probably just for the fact that Dean made him feel uneasy in general. And it was a strange feeling, because normally he always felt at ease around Dean. He usually enjoyed being around him even. But somehow, it all felt so different now. 

Castiel winced when the car rode over a particularly large bump in the road, the pain in his head was still as present as ever. He was used to pain, however, he still was not used to not being able to heal himself right away.

He really missed being an angel and his powers.

It was silent in the car, but this wasn’t because Castiel had nothing to say or to ask. Because he did. He wanted to ask Dean why he decided it necessary to play dress up with him. He wanted to ask what they were doing in the impala, where they were going. He wanted to ask Dean about Sam, whether Dean had also paid him a visit or if he hadn't. Castiel had a lot of questions, but he decided to keep quiet nonetheless. It was just that he felt unsure how to talk to this Dean. His ‘’people skills’’ weren’t great to begin with, but the fact that Dean was a demon now whose mood seemed to swing drastically in just one single conversation didn’t make it much easier on him.

For a while, Dean remained quiet too, but of course, he couldn’t stay silent for long.

‘’Cas,’’ Dean sighed. ‘’I am really getting some negative vibes from you. What’s up? Talk to me.’’

For the first time since he woke up, Castiel looked at Dean. ‘’What do you want me to say Dean?’’ He said quietly.

‘’Hmm, I don’t know... But it would be great if you stopped with the sulking, for starters.’’

Castiel huffed. ‘’Oh of course, I apologise for not being more amenable towards you after-‘’

‘’Hey, come on.’’ Dean interrupted. ‘’I told Sam to let me go and that also applied to you, and you didn’t. You forced my hand.’’

‘’Dean, of course he didn’t! You and your brother never gave up on each other, so how can you expect him to do that now? Your brother loves you and I... I care for you a great deal as well. So, of course we couldn’t just let go.’’ 

Castiel almost couldn’t believe that this was really Dean. He had always admired Dean for his loyalty towards his brother; no matter what Sam did or how badly he screwed up, Dean was always there, trying to fix things between them. He never let thins go and never gave up on those he cared about... But, it was obvious that this Dean didn’t feel those sentiments anymore and Castiel couldn’t help but feel sad about that. 

‘’You know Cas, I actually do remember feeling that way. Funny thing is, it actually took me becoming a fucking demon to realise that I don’t even need him. That in reality, he only holds me back. And I am sick and tired of babysitting him. So, fingers crossed that this will actually work and he will leave me alone.’’ Dean sneered. 

Castiel sighed. ‘’Aren’t there plenty of other ways to achieve that, ways that don’t involve abducting me?’’

‘’Hmm, probably. But, why would I choose another way when I can do it like this. I mean, I knew it wouldn’t be much of a challenge to get you. And... I also figured that this way, we could have some fun together, you and I.’’ 

Dean smiled and winked at him, and again, Castiel didn’t know how to respond. Dean talking about ‘having some fun together’ made him feel uneasy and nervous. He was almost certain that it would involve torture of some kind and he didn’t particularly look forward to that. Still, he would rather endure that instead of the alternative, of Sam giving up on finding Dean in order to save him. Besides, with his grace fading, he was certain that he wouldn’t have to endure the possible torture for too long anyways. 

Fortunately, Dean seemed done talking and Castiel was glad that the conversation was over. His head still hurt a lot from the blow it had received last night and talking to Dean was tiring. 

Castiel was so tired and he felt his eyelids growing heavy. He wanted to sleep so badly, but he didn’t feel safe falling asleep next to Dean. So, he tried to stay awake, however he didn't manage to keep that up for long, as he dozed off only minutes later. 

He only hoped that the ache in his head would be gone when he would wake.

 

 

xxx

 

 

When Dean looked sideways and encountered the sight of the angel fast asleep leaning against the car window, Dean couldn't help but grin. He didn't know if it was naivety, foolishness, or if he just needed the sleep that badly, but Dean found it interesting that Castiel thought it was a solid idea to fall asleep while under the mercy of a demon.

It really wasn’t. 

Dean was also slightly surprised about the fact that Castiel hadn't berated him yet with his questions. Dean was sure he must have lots of them. Yet, he supposed that the angel was probably still processing or something. 

When the opportunity arose to pull over, Dean did. The road was quiet and he was almost sure that no cars would be driving by, and even if one did, it wouldn't be much of a problem. So, after parking the car on the side of the road Dean carefully reached for and opened the glove department, taking out the syringe. After pulling of the cap, he said Castiel’s name twice in order to check if the angel really was asleep. And he was, so Dean figured it was safe to continue. He rolled Castiel’s left sleeve up and applied the needle and pushed in. Castiel only stirred slightly when the needle was pulled out again, but otherwise there were no complications. 

Dean grinned again, thinking of how smoothly everything had went so far. Tracking the angel down went easily enough; his phone calls to Crowley had led him right to him. Castiel should have known better, really... Yet, overpowering the angel had proven to be a little less easy than he'd expected. Not that it had been difficult, but Castiel did put up a fight. However, Dean didn’t mind, he actually liked a little resilience. 

He smiled and looked over to Castiel, who was still peacefully asleep next to him. He certainly was going to have fun with the little angel. 

For a moment, Dean just looked at him and he just loved how vulnerable the other man looked and loved the power he now was having over him. Dean couldn't explain why, but there was nothing he currently wanted more than Castiel. The things he could do...

He started the impala again and drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, this is my first attempt at writing anything, I hope it was okay-ish.. Anyway, thanks for reading! There will be more chapters, not sure how many though. If you have any feedback, I would love to hear it!


	2. How are we liking our new home?

Castiel felt like he had been asleep for days. His head felt dull and clouded and when he finally opened his eyes, he didn’t recognise his surroundings. 

He found himself in a large, dark room, with walls covered with markings he recognised as angel-binding sigils. Great... Some burning torches on the walls lit up the room, giving it an reddish glow. 

Taking in his surroundings, it was safe to assume that he was now in hell. He wondered how Dean had got him there without him remembering a thing about it. Though he expected it had probably something to do with his clouded senses; Dean must have drugged him while he was asleep... So exactly as he'd thought, it really hadn't been smart to fall asleep next to Dean in the car. However, Castiel figured he probably would have ended up here anyhow. 

He sighed when he realised that he still was restrained by the handcuffs. Only now, they were attached to the wall, forcing him to remain standing upright with his hands above his head. It wasn’t the most comfortable position.

Castiel wondered where Dean could be, but he found that he honestly didn’t have a clue. The old Dean, he 'd known well, but this Dean was a different story. Castiel didn’t know how to act towards him, didn’t know what this Dean wanted, and he certainly didn’t know what this Dean was thinking. Still, Castiel hoped that there was still something human, _something_ of the old Dean, left in him. That maybe, he could be saved. That maybe, a part of him, still wanted to be saved... 

Then finally, after hours of uncomfortable solitude, the door opened. Castiel felt both relieved and apprehensive about Dean’s return. 

‘’Hiya, Cas.’’ Said Dean, striding into the room.

Castiel only glared at him.

‘’So, how are we liking our new home?’’ Dean said, walking towards him. 

Castiel didn’t dignify Dean’s question with a response. ‘’What did you do to me?’’ He asked Dean instead, trying to sound calm.

‘’Oh.’’ Dean said and chuckled. ‘’Well… I drugged you.’’

Castiel huffed.

‘’Okay, look Cas, don’t get all pissy with me, it wasn’t my idea.’’

Castiel looked at him questioningly.

Dean sighed. ‘’Crowley, Cas.' He said as though it was obvious. ''He didn’t want you to know about the hell gates; where they are, how to open them.’’ He explained. ‘’He fixed me the cuffs, so this was the least I could do, you know.’’ He continued. ‘’See, him and I, we have an understanding, we cooperate, help each other. Great right?’’ Dean asked, softly slapping Castiel’s cheek. Castiel jerked away from his touch. 

‘’So, what did Sam say?’’ Castiel asked. He simply was done discussing Crowley and he was also done hearing about their great work relationship. Also, he really was curious about how Sam had reacted and what he would do. 

Castiel just really hoped that Sam wouldn’t give into Dean’s threats. That he wouldn't give up on finding Dean and curing him. 

‘’Oh Sam? Yeah, I haven’t talked to him yet. But, I really am in no rush.’’ He said with a smirk on his face. Then, Dean placed his hands on either side of Castiel’s head, against the wall. It made him feel even more trapped. Dean’s face was so close to his now and for a moment he struggled to breath. Dean smiled knowingly. ‘’I mean, shouldn’t we spend some quality time together first? I mean, we have been apart for so long. I really missed you.’’ Dean said softly and Castiel gulped, telling himself that the demon's words were only lies and manipulations.

He wanted nothing more than to believe what Dean had just said, however deep down he knew that there was nothing genuine about it; Dean was only trying to manipulate him.

Castiel gathered himself. ‘’Dean, please don’t pretend that you miss me, or care about me. You’re a demon and a liar, and I don’t know precisely what your intentions are, but I assure you that I won’t fall for your tricks. And as for that quality time, I’d rather have you kill me. I don’t want to be kept here, only for Sam to promise you to stop looking for you.’’

Dean frowned. ‘’Now, that wasn’t very nice Cas.’’ He said and sighed. ‘’I guess I had forgotten about how much of a self-righteous ass you can be. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I _do_ care, that I _could_ care? I have known you for years and believe me I cared a lot. But if you don’t want to believe me just because your views on demons are so fucking black and white, than that’s fine by me. You can rot away here for all I care.’’ Dean snarled, his face inches from his. 

''This has nothing to do with me being self-righteous, I just know that all demons are the same.'' Castiel snarled back.

Dean huffed and suddenly moved to grip his chin tightly. ''I suggest you mind your tone a bit Cas. You don't get to talk to me like that.'' Dean asked angrily. 

Castiel only glared back at him.

''Besides, what about Meg?'' Dean asked suddenly more lightly, letting go of his face. 

''What about her?''

''Well, you say that demons are all the same, yet, you did like her, didn't you? So why can't you like me, hmm? 'Cause believe me Cas, this will all be so much easier for you if you'll just be nice to me.''

Castiel said nothing. What the hell did Dean even mean by that? What would be easier?

Dean smiled. ''Still as stubborn as ever I see.''

''I suppose.''

''Yeah, let's see how long that'll last.'' Dean said, still smiling, before he walked away and left the room.

 

 

xxx

 

 

After their conversation, Castiel had been left alone for a whole day, or that was at least what he assumed because he had no way of telling the time. He felt terrible though. He was so hungry and thirsty and his body still ached. He really wished he had asked Dean to let him out of the cuffs, or that he'd at least asked him to cuff him to something else. 

Castiel's eyes were closed when he heard the door open. Dean came in with food and drinks in his hands. He placed them on the table and walked over to him and stopped a few feet from him. Dean however, said nothing.

It was like Dean was waiting for him to say something, so, Castiel tried to come up with something to say. He wondered if he should apologise. But was he sorry? He knew that he had angered Dean before, but he had meant everything he'd said. Still, he didn’t want to piss Dean of again, didn't want to remain stuck against the wall, hungry, thirsty and sore, for a whole other day. 

So, he decided to pick his words more carefully now. ‘’Dean, can you let me out of these?’’ He finally asked softly. Castiel didn't want to ask Dean any favours, but his current position had become really unbearable. 

Dean took a moment to respond. ‘’You could say please you know?'' Dean said eventually, and when Castiel looked up he met Dean’s smirk. 

Castiel sighed. If that’s what Dean wanted to hear so badly, he could say it. ‘’Dean, can you let me of these cuffs… Please?’’ He said. 

‘’There’s a good angel.’’ Dean said, smiling. With a snap of his fingers, Castiel’s cuffs were unlocked. 

He rubbed his arms, relieved to be out of that awkward position. However, he was a little shocked by Dean’s use of powers. It wasn’t like the action was that remarkable or anything, but it felt weird to Castiel nonetheless. He had never seen Dean use any kind of powers before; he was always just a hunter. Yet, now he was different, and Castiel realised that he shouldn’t forget about how powerful Dean actually was now. 

Dean was already sitting at the table when Castiel joined him. The thought crossed his mind that Dean could have put something in his drink or in his food, but he pushed that thought away. He didn’t have the luxury to care or worry about that. So, he tentatively took a seat in front of Dean. 

Having dinner with Dean wasn’t actually that horrible. Castiel didn't say much, it was mostly Dean who talked. Castiel still felt ambivalent about him and noticed Dean addressing him in ways he had never addressed him before -like calling him angel or sweetheart-, but overall, it was tolerable. Yet, it was also confusing because Dean seemed to be in a good mood, and almost seemed to be like his old self. And Castiel knew of course that it wasn’t the old Dean sitting in front of him, but in that moment, he could almost fool himself to believe it was.

When they were both done eating, Dean immediately stood up.

‘’I better go. I have some place to be.’’ He said quite abruptly. 

Castiel didn't understand why, but he felt a pang of disappointment. What was wrong with him?

‘’How-how long will you be gone?’’ He caught himself asking. 

‘’Oh, just a few days angel. Got to feed the mark... if you know what I mean.’’ Dean said and he winked at Castiel.

Then, Dean’s expression shifted from playful to serious. ‘’Now stand up.’’ He ordered.

Castiel didn’t know how to respond to Dean’s order. However, before he knew it, he was forcefully pulled up from his seat by Dean and Castiel winced. Yet, apparently Dean wasn’t done manhandling him, because seconds later Dean was pulling him by his dress shirt towards and onto the bed. Dean threw him down and was very quick, because before he realised what even was going on, he felt his left wrist being cuffed to the bedpost. 

Castiel lay on the bed looking at Dean, still trying to catch his breath. Dean still hovered over him since he had just slipped the cuff on his wrist. Dean looked at him, face so close to his own. 

Despite the fact that Castiel could be really oblivious to a lot of things, right now, he knew what was about to happen. However, the thought of backing away from Dean didn’t even cross his mind. Dean bent forward and kissed him. 

It was a surprisingly gentle kiss. Dean had a tight grip on the back of his neck, but he also pressed soothingly against Castiel’s shaky lips and Dean tasted wet and sweet. Dean licked his upper lip and Castiel opened his mouth a little, letting Dean in and tangle his tongue with the angel's. He then felt Dean’s hand sliding from his neck to hold his hair gently, and Castiel let it all willingly happen. It was almost like he was in some trance. 

However, suddenly it was over and Dean drew away. And Castiel chased his lips, but Dean seemed finished. He stood up and smirked down at Castiel, who was laying breathless on the bed. 

‘’Yeah, sorry about the cuffs, but I can’t risk you overpowering one of Crowley’s minions when they bring you your food, now can I?’’ Dean patted Castiel’s hair before he walked away. ‘’See you in a few days!’’ He shouted before slamming the door shut.

 

 

xxx

 

 

For days, Castiel was alone in the room and his contact with others was limited to the little visits from the demons that brought him his food twice a day. However, besides that, he saw no one. 

Dean also had been right, there was no chance for him to overpower them. He was cuffed to the bed and he could feel his grace fading even more and more. Still, he was at least glad that he got to spend these days on the bed instead of stuck against the wall, like he'd been in the beginning. 

He had a lot of time on his hands and when he didn’t sleep, all that Castiel could do was think. 

And he thought about Dean. He wondered if there still was a chance to get the old Dean back. He wanted to believe that it was still possible, but doubts filled his mind. Right now, he was probably either busy slaughtering people to ‘’feed the mark’’ or busy hanging out with Crowley. Both thoughts made Castiel feel sick. Also, his current position didn't help things. Now, Sam was the only hope of getting Dean cured. 

He thought about himself, and about how stupid it was of him to get captured like this in the first place. In his current position he had no chance of saving Dean or helping Sam. He really should have tried harder, should have done more. Now, he wasn't able to do anything or help anyone and he felt like he had let down both brothers... 

He thought about Sam. Who was all alone right now, having lost everyone he cared about. He was probably wondering why Castiel didn’t contact him or answered his calls anymore. Perhaps, Sam thought that he was dead, grace faded out... Castiel wondered whether it was possible that Sam had given up looking altogether. However, Castiel knew he hadn’t; Sam wouldn’t give up on Dean that easily. And neither would he.

But mostly, he thought about the kiss he shared with Dean. He really tried not to think about it, however it was hard not to. It didn’t help that he still was in the exact same spot and position as when it had happened. 

Castiel was so confused about it. He shouldn’t have let it happen and it was wrong; Dean was a demon and he wasn’t in his right mind, he would have never done anything like that before. Castiel should have stayed focused and should have tried harder to convince Dean to let him and Sam help him. But instead, Castiel had given in and had been weak. How selfish he was...

However, he also couldn’t help but think about how good it had felt. Couldn't help but remember how incredible it had felt and a part of Castiel longed to experience it again. However, he was determined not to let it. 


	3. Stow your crap, I know you enjoyed that.

When Dean returned, he found his angel asleep on the bed, still chained to the bedpost. He lay there without his trench coat and suit jacket; which was a rare sight since the angel almost never took those off. The fact that he was without his usual attire made him look even more vulnerable in Dean’s eyes. Dean walked towards the bed and noticed that Castiel was looking pale, a lot paler than he was before he left. He figured that Castiel’s grace really must have been fading. He should do something about that, he thought to himself. He didn’t want Castiel dying on him before they had any fun together after all. 

Dean realised he was still staring at Castiel and chuckled at the irony of it. After all, Dean always used to be the one to be asleep, whereas Castiel would be the one to stalk. He used to tell him that it was weird, but now here he was, tables turned. Yet, he couldn’t help it. Castiel just lay there, vulnerable and completely under his mercies. Dean couldn't deny that there were ranges of scenarios going through his head of what he could do to the angel right now. When he was human, he hated himself for these thoughts. He had been having feelings for the angel for a long time, yet, it wasn’t until he became a demon that he finally was able to accept them. Perks of becoming a demon was that he didn’t care much anymore about trivial things like sexuality. Before, all he allowed himself to do was steeling some glances and grabbing Castiel’s shoulder from time to time. It was pathetic really. Now that he was a demon however, he would allow himself much more than just some shoulder touches. 

Castiel stirred and Dean wondered about how the angel would react if he were to take their next make out session to the next level. Knowing Castiel, he would try to fight it, the prudish little thing did like to hold on to his principles after all. He would probably call it blasphemy or something like that. Yet, Dean also knew that his feelings were definitely not one sided. And Dean didn’t need to be a demon to realise this though, he already suspected it before his transformation. The way Castiel had responded the kiss only verified his suspicions. Dean smirked, here was an actual angel, who was in love with a demon. 

Dean leaned over the large mattress and rested his knee on the edge. He watched the slow rise and fall of Castiel’s chest. Then, the angel shifted slightly and Dean wanted to lean in further, but he stopped, thinking he had to be careful, he didn’t want to push Castiel too quickly. So, Dean thought better of it and decided to leave him for now. He figured that Castiel really needed his rest in his weakened state right now. They had enough time together anyway; the angel wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

When Dean returned the next morning he again met the sight of a sleeping Castiel. He walked towards the bed and Dean drank in the sight of the sleeping angel. He decided that he had given him enough time already and that it wouldn’t hurt to keep Castiel some company now. So, Dean undressed, crawled onto the bed and straddled Castiel’s thighs. With a snap of his fingers Castiel’s clothes disappeared, leaving him only in his boxers. Dean then planted his hands on either side of Castiel’s head and leaned over. Suddenly, Castiel gasped and jerked awake. Dean grinned down at Castiel’s sleepy, baby blue eyes. ‘’Morning, angel.’’

Castiel looked up at him with wide eyes and Dean just loved the shocked look on his face. Then suddenly, he felt Castiel trying to shove him away with his free hand. ‘’Dean! W-what are you doing!?'' Castiel asked, while he continued his pushing and prying to get free. Dean grabbed Castiel's free wrist and pinned it down. Castiel looked up at him, with both desperation and a slight hint of anger in his eyes. Dean decided to ignore Castiel's question and started to move his mouth over Castiel’s neck, trailing kisses down to his collarbones.

''Dean, stop.'' Castiel pleaded between panting.

Yet, Dean didn't stop, and he couldn’t help but smirk when he heard a moan escaping Castiel’s lips. Then, he leaned in for a kiss, but Castiel turned his head away. He could see Castiel frowning.

‘’St-stop. You don't want this.’’ Castiel tried. He was panting loudly and hadn't stopped his thrashing.

''Oh believe me Cas, I do.'' Dean said before he started kissing and nipping at Castiel's exposed neck again, earning him another few moans.

Dean noticed that Castiel's head was still turned away from him. So, he gripped his chin, so that he was forced to look at him. Dean wanted to see every expression on his face. ''Look at me.'' He ordered.

With his thumb, he stroked Castiel's lips, parting them slightly. ''Cas, why do you resist so much? I know you've been wanting this. Just give in.'' He whispered into Castiel's ear. 

Dean loved Castiel's reaction; his eyes widened and he was blushing. 

''I-I don't know what you're talking about. I don't want this.'' Castiel denied, but Dean was far from convinced.

Dean chuckled. ''Yeah, keep telling yourself that.'' He said and leaned in again, and this time, he was successful. Dean kissed Castiel deeply and Castiel's response was hesitant at best. That wasn’t much of a surprise to Dean; he knew about how inexperienced Castiel was. He had to admit that he actually liked that innocence. Dean smiled against Castiel’s mouth, taking pride in the small whimpers which escaped Castiel’s lips.

Dean drew back and looked at Castiel, who was looking right back at him. However, the angel had stopped his trashing by now. He loved the fact that he could see Castiel’s resolve start to crumble. It was exactly what he was hoping for. Castiel was panting under him and covered in sweat. Dean could see the battle of emotions in his eyes and Dean could tell that he was desperately trying to keep some sense of control, yet, he was failing miserably.

Dean decided to let go of Castiel's free hand and move down his body. Even though he wanted nothing more than to fuck him senseless, Dean knew better. He knew that he could do it easily; Castiel was completely without his defences. However, he somehow wanted for Castiel to want him to. Therefore, he knew not to rush it. He could give. So, he started to pull down Castiel's boxers.

''Dean, don't.'' Castiel said, shaking his head a little. Yet, his protest already sounded much weaker than those of earlier. Dean smiled and took one last look at the angel before he took the tip of Castiel’s length in his mouth. Dean loved Castiel’s reaction, it was perfect. Never having sensed anything like it, Castiel was caught off guard and a loud moan escaped his lips. Castiel was in pure bliss and thrust his hips forward. Dean started his pace, never taking his eyes away from Castiel’s face. Yet, Castiel wasn’t looking at him, he had turned his head away again. Dean couldn’t allow that. So, he stopped.

‘’Cas, I told you to look at me.’’ He said.

Despite the fact that it took him a moment, eventually, Castiel obeyed. 

Dean loved how worn-out and confused Castiel looked. He smirked. "Enjoying it, angel?’’ He asked. He could see that Castiel wanted nothing more than to look away, but he held his gaze still. ‘’Hmm, you look so good all trussed up and hot for me.’’ Dean said.

No matter how fun it was to tease Castiel, Dean figured that he should stop gloating and get back to it. So, he went back down on Castiel and after a few minutes, Dean felt Castiel becoming more erratic and he knew that he must close. Castiel must know it too, judging from the flustered and confused look on his face. Again, he was loving Castiel’s innocence; somehow it was making the whole thing even hotter. 

After a few moments, Castiel was coming, spilling into Dean’s mouth. Dean felt incredibly pleased, thinking the whole thing went even better than expected. Yet, suddenly he remembered his own erection. A part of him really wanted Castiel to help him out with it. A part of him even wanted to make him. But he had to control himself, he didn’t want to scare Castiel off. Besides, Castiel looked utterly spent and Dean figured he wouldn’t be good for anything at the moment. Thus, Dean decided to just help himself. Not that it would be any trouble, with his new images of Castiel writhing underneath him, he would have no trouble. He saw Castiel glancing at him, but he looked away immediately when he noticed just what Dean was doing, turning his back on him. 

When Dean was finished, he noticed that Castiel was still laying on his side, his back towards Dean. He sighed. He couldn’t see what the big deal was to be honest, it was just a blowjob. Fucking prude. 

‘’Cas?’’ Dean asked, but Castiel didn’t respond. This aggravated Dean. He had been good to the angel; he had gone easy on him. He should be grateful, yet instead, Castiel was acting like a child. ‘’Sonofabitch.’’ Dean murmured angrily while he roughly yanked Castiel’s right shoulder down so he didn’t have to face his back anymore. Castiel now lay on his back, but within seconds he scrambled up the bed and sat up against the headboard. Then, he only glared at Dean.

‘’What is your problem!?’’ Dean asked angrily.

Dean’s question however, seemed only to anger Castiel in turn. ‘’My problem!? Dean, you are my problem! I thought my purpose for being here was that you would use me as a card to hold over Sam’s head in order to get him of your back. But you do not even seem inclined to call him? And I was fine with you keeping me here for that purpose, but I am not fine with you keeping me here as... as your toy!’’

Dean huffed. ‘’First of all, Cas, I couldn’t care less about what’s ‘fine’ with you, because you, you are my prisoner if you haven’t realised that yet. This also means that I will contact my brother whenever I like.’’ He sneered. ‘’And as for you being my toy, get used to it. Besides, I hardly did anything to you, and believe me Cas, that was nothing. So I suggest that you stop whin-‘’

‘’Dean, what you just did to m-‘’

‘’Oh, please Cas, stow your crap, I know you enjoyed that.’’ Dean sneered.

‘’Dean, that is beside the point! I didn’t want any of it!’’ Said Castiel angrily. 

‘’Ha, yeah sure. You know that the only one you’re fooling is yourself right?’’ Dean said and smiled as his words seemed to shut Castiel right up for a moment. 

''I didn't want it Dean! So you're not doing that ever again or I'll-'' 

Dean grinned. ''Or... what? You'll do what? There is nothing that you can do, which means that you don't get to make any demands.''

In response, Castiel only looked down. The angel had probably realised that he was right and that he didn't have a leg to stand on.

Dean sighed and got off the bed. He could notice Castiel glaring at him when he gathered his socks, shoes and clothes and also made the angel's clothes reappear. He decided that further arguing with the angel wouldn’t do him any good, he had said what he wanted to say anyways. So, Dean figured that the best thing he could do now was to leave Castiel to his own devices and let him take in everything he had just said. Some solitude would do him good. Maybe by the time he would come back, the angel would have accepted his feelings for him and be less of a bitch about it. So, he walked towards the door and slammed it shut, without saying a further thing. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

Castiel already felt bad before he was captured, but that was nothing compared to how he felt now. He knew he was dying. He had no idea how much longer his grace would last; he figured a few days, maybe a week. A part of him hoped it would just happen already. The smallest movements hurt, he constantly had coughing fits, but mostly he was just tired. 

Since Dean’s last visit, he had been left alone by him for days. And again, the demons that brought him his food where the only ones that entered the room. Every time they entered he could see the derisive looks on their faces. He could only imagine what they thought of him. However, he hardly cared about what they thought. He hardly cared about anything, he was just too tired. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

When Dean entered the room Castiel was asleep. Again. He really slept a lot, Dean thought. He approached the angel, and only when he was closer he noticed how awful he looked. He didn’t know for sure but it seemed that he lost a few pounds. Must be the grace, he thought.

Dean sighed, deciding that he should probably take care of this situation. He didn’t want the angel dead after all. Besides, it wasn’t like it would be any trouble to him. Angel’s weren’t that hard to find, him being able to see their true form now certainly would help. He could use the sigil Gadreel used to lure one to him or he could just track one down. Both options would do fine.

It had been a while though, since he had killed an angel. Since becoming a demon, he mostly just killed humans. For Crowley. At first, the thought of working for the demon made his stomach turn. However, it didn’t take him long to realise that it would actually be a win-win. He got to kill some sons of bitches that actually deserved it, the Mark would be fed and he would have Crowley indebted to him. The arrangement was perfect really. Yet, Crowley's jobs would just have to wait, he had an angel to take care off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first smut ever and damn it is hard to write. Normal dialogue is so much easier. Ugh.. I feel so unsure about it, I hope that I didn't scar anyone. Anyway, the next chapter will be posted soon. Thanks for reading.


	4. You can make it up to me.

Killing an angel and taking its grace went as effortlessly as he had expected. The one he encountered did fight back, but wasn’t as much of a warrior as Castiel, or as Castiel used to be. Dean thought back on how much of a badass Castiel was before. He remembered being so impressed with his fighting skills. He remembered the times Castiel had fought for him, and he also remembered the time he was on the other side of Castiel’s graces; when the angel beat him to pulp in that alley. Man, things were different now. There was no way that the angel would be able to do that to him now.

Dean sighed. He was standing in Crowley’s ''throne room'' waiting for the demon. Crowley told him that it was ready and Dean hoped that he would deliver. He looked up when he heard the doors open and saw Crowley coming in. 

‘’Dean.’’ Crowley said, smiling.

‘’Crowley.’’ Dean nodded. 

‘’So, do you have what I was asking for?’’ Dean asked, eyeing the wooden box Crowley was holding in his hands. 

‘’Of course.’’ He said. ‘’I am the King of Hell after all.’’ He added with a smirk and Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes. It felt like the man had to remind him of the fact every single conversation they had.

‘’Yeah.’’ He said, walking towards the table where Crowley was standing and had put the box down. 

Dean opened the box and looked at the brown leather collar with the black engraved sigils on it. ‘’And you’re sure this will work?’’ He asked. 

‘’Positive.’’ Crowley said, and Dean smiled. ‘’Yet, you don’t have to this you know,’’ Crowley continued. ‘’why not just let the angel wither and die? It would bring me such pleasure.’’

Dean chuckled. ‘’Yeah, I don’t think so Crowley.’’ He said. There was no way he was doing that, and giving Crowley pleasure also definitely wasn’t something he cared for. ‘’But anyway, thanks a lot.’’ He said and started walking away. He didn’t particularly want to spend more time with the demon than he had to. Admittedly, they had some fun together some time ago, but the demon turned out to be quite boring after a while. Besides, he had an angel to get back to.

 

 

xxx

 

 

Castiel woke up on having Dean calling his name and softly slapping his cheek. ‘’Dean?’’ He said softly, looking sleepily at Dean who was seated on the edge of the bed. He was also looking curiously at the wooden box which lay next to Dean, it had some sigils carved into it. He had difficulty keeping his eyes open though. His body ached too. Yet, with some effort he managed to sit himself up to the headboard.

‘’You came back.’’ He said.

‘’Of course I came back. I wouldn’t leave you here.’’ Dean moved closer to him and cupped his cheek tenderly. ''You don't look so good.'' He said.

Castiel couldn't help it and leaned into Dean's touch. After being left alone for so long in his miserable state, he yearned for comfort. For Dean.

''It's my-my grace.'' He said in a raspy voice and winced. He only now realised how weak he sounded and hated it.

Dean smiled. ''I know. Lucky for you I have something for that. I brought you some presents.’’

The look on Dean’s face and his talk about ‘’presents’’ made Castiel feel a bit apprehensive. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out what Dean had in store for him. ‘’Dean, what are you talking about?’’ He asked nevertheless.

‘’Hmm I’m glad you asked. See, I made a little trip upstairs for you.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, confused.

‘’I went to get you some grace.’’ Dean said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

‘’N-no.’’ Castiel said, shaking his head. He knew what ‘’getting some grace’’ meant, and he felt appalled. It meant that one of his brothers or sisters had just been killed for him.

Dean huffed and as to prove a point he took the small vile of grace out from under his jacket. He showed it to him before putting it back again.

‘’I wish you hadn’t done that.’’ Castiel said, but he knew that Dean wouldn’t care about how he felt about it.

His thought had proven to be right because he saw Dean roll his eyes and huff. ‘’You could thank me, you know. If I hadn’t done anything, you wouldn’t last the week.’’

Dean was right, he wouldn’t last the week, but that was beside the point. ‘’Dean, I kn-’’ He wanted to explain to Dean, but a coughing fit interrupted him. However, a minute later he was ready to try again. ‘’Dean, I know that. But I don’t want another’s grace again! I don’t want to live on, knowing that the reason I’m alive is because one of my brothers or sisters has been killed for me!’’

‘’Well tough luck. And besides, your brother is already dead, so why not just-‘’

‘’Dean I don’t want it!’’ He exclaimed.

Dean sighed and he seemed done arguing. ‘’Yeah, I’m done talking about this.’’ He said, then he took the vile of grace out from under his jacket again.

Castiel knew that he had nowhere to go, so if Dean would decide to force him to take the grace, he would have no choice. Trying to get away would have no use. Moments later, Dean did exactly what Castiel thought he would do. He neared Castiel and put his right hand on Castiel’s forehead, effectively pinning his head against the headboard. Then, the small vile of grace was pushed between his lips. Suddenly, Castiel could feel the grace flowing into him.

What he felt was indescribable. He had never experienced this before. He could feel so much energy running through him and he was burning from the inside. It felt incredible and suddenly he felt powerful again.

There was a flash of bright light. When it faded, Castiel saw that Dean was lying on the floor. Apparently, the blow from him taking the grace was powerful enough to knock the demon of the bed. Yet, besides that, he didn’t seem much affected. Still, it made Castiel wonder if there was a chance for him now to escape or overpower Dean. He started to yank at his cuffs in order to find out the extent of his new strengths. To his surprise, the cuffs gave in after just a few pulls.

Castiel got of the bed and now he and Dean were standing both at either side of it. He was thinking about what his options were until Dean spoke. ‘’Good for you, angel. Must be great not to feel so weak anymore.’’ He said mockingly.

Dean’s comment angered Castiel and suddenly, his eyes were glowing and a bright blue lit up the room. He raised his hand up at Dean.

‘’Please, Cas. Do you really think that that is going to work? I'm a Knight of Hell.’’ He said with a smirk.

‘’Dean, please. I don’t want to have to hurt you.’’ Castiel pleaded.

‘’I don’t think that that’s going to be a problem.’’ Dean responded. He was smiling but Castiel could hear the threat behind his words. Then, he saw his angel blade appear from Dean’s sleeve. He needed to get it back, he thought.

So, with a flash of light he blasted Dean away. As a result, Dean slammed into the wall and fell to the ground, the blade falling from his hands. Castiel ran immediately towards it and grabbed it from the ground. However, by that time, Dean had already recovered and suddenly Castiel could feel a blow against his face and he stumbled backwards. When he could see another hit coming towards him, he managed to block it. Castiel resolved to block Dean's next hits as well, not wanting to hurt him. Yet, the hits just kept coming and it wasn’t possible to block them all. His defence tactics were getting him nowhere. So, he changed his tactics and went from defence to offence.

Surprisingly, he and Dean were quite evenly matched. Physically anyway. Both of them were holding back on using their powers for the moment. They were both relying on their fighting skills, making it an even match. Castiel did have the advantage of the blade though, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to use it. Yet, after a while, the fight had begun to drag and Castiel knew he had to do something. So, he did decide to use it; as soon as he had the chance, he wielded the blade and struck Dean in his shoulder.

Dean took a step back and looked very surprised. He was looking at the place where he had been stabbed and his expression turned dark. When Castiel attempted to lunge at him again, Dean stopped him. Dean punched him hard in his jaw and Castiel fell to the ground. He was still recovering from the blow he had received when Dean slowly pulled the angel blade from his shoulder. Dean winced. ‘’You shouldn’t have done that.’’ He said, while raising the blade.

Castiel wondered if this was it. Would Dean kill him? If he had to guess, the answer would be a yes, judging from the murderous expression on Dean’s face. He closed his eyes and he heard the blade pierce the ground. Dean hadn't killed him. He looked sideways and saw the blade next to him, inches from his face. Then, he looked up, and he was shocked to see black eyes staring back at him. Black eyes. He knew that the sight shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did.

All of a sudden, Dean was off of him and he saw him walking towards the bed. He could hear him open and close the wooden box. Then, he was kneeling beside him with something in his hands. Castiel couldn’t quite make out what it was. Before he could get a better look at it, he felt Dean gripping his hair tightly, pulling him into a sitting position. He kicked and trashed wildly, but Dean’s grip on him was too strong. He stopped his trashing when he felt something secure around his neck.

He felt like he was suffocating. Dean let go of him and he fell to the ground again. He immediately went to grab the collar on his neck, trying to pull it off. Having the thing on his neck felt incredibly painful and he was writhing in pain. Yet, no matter how hard he pulled, the collar wouldn’t come off.

''Dean.'' He groaned. The demon was standing over him and Castiel saw that his eyes had turned normal again. Dean said nothing though, he was just looking down at him.

‘’D-dean please.’’ Was all that he could say.

Dean squatted down next to him. ‘’Yeah, I know it’s painful. You're grace is being bound as we speak.’’ He said. ‘’I really wished it wouldn’t have been necessary.’’

Dean chuckled. ‘’Okay, that isn’t completely true… I always wanted to see you in collar at my feet. Yet, if you had just thanked me for saving your life and hadn't fucking stabbed me, I wouldn’t have had to collar you and we could have moved on. But you just couldn’t do that now, could you?’’

‘’Dean, please take it off.’’ Castiel pleaded further, eyes watering.

‘’No, Cas. You have just proven that I can’t trust you. Now, get up on your knees.'' Dean demanded him.

''N-no.'' Castiel said shaking his head, before Dean gripped his hair tightly and pulled him up. He found himself on his knees and Dean yanked his head back, which forced Castiel to look up at him.

''Oh Cas, that was such a big mistake. But don't worry baby,'' Dean said as he moved his hand from his hair to grip his chin tightly. ''you can make it up to me.''

It was obvious to Castiel what Dean was about to make him do. Yet, Dean still hadn't made a move. Castiel could only wait in trepidation, there was simply nothing he could do. He was powerless. Dean was still gripping his chin tightly as he moved his head from side to side, regarding him. ''You have such pretty lips Castiel. Can't wait to see them wrapped around my cock.''

''Dean no-'' Was all he said before he felt a searing pain in his left cheek. Dean had backhanded him forcefully and he winced. Yet, the stinging of his cheek was nothing compared to the pain the collar on his neck brought him, pain he was still feeling.

''It's really about time you learned to behave Cas. I am sick of your resistance and protests, you hear me? You just discovered that standing up to me isn't getting you anywhere, so don't. You might have your grace back, but you are still powerless. There is nothing you can do and you can make this so much easier for yourself if you would just accept that.'' Dean snarled.

Yet, all of a sudden, Dean's angry expression turned more soft. ''You really make quite a picture.'' He said as he ran a hand on his still stinging cheek. ''I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about you on your knees.”

Castiel only shut his eyes tightly in response. His instinct told him to fight, to resist, but Dean was right, there was no use. So, he remained silent.

''Open up.'' Dean ordered roughly.

Castiel considered to resist, not wanting to submit to a demon.

''I said, open your fucking mouth.'' Dean then said even more roughly than before; he must have seen his hesitance on his face. When Castiel looked up, he was again surprised by Dean's black eyes looking down at him.

Castiel opened his mouth, yet apparently not enough, since Dean deemed it necessary to grab a handful of his hair and pull it until his mouth opened even further. ''Watch the teeth.'' He snarled, before he unceremoniously thrust his cock down his throat.

It was rough, painful and it seemed as Dean wasn't ever going to stop, he just kept ramming his cock down his throat. He had to try his best not to gag every time Dean hit the back of his throat. The pain made his eyes water. Castiel didn't knew what was worse; the pain that Dean's rough treatment brought him, or the sight of the black eyes looking down at him. It seemed like an eternity before Dean finished. As his orgasm hit, Dean slipped his cock outside of his mouth. Castiel closed his eyes as Dean came all over his face. Since he was still panting, trying to catch his breath, some drops of Dean's cum landed in his mouth; he hated how it tasted.

Castiel could only imagine how he must look like right now; on his knees, face covered in semen. He had never felt as humiliated as he was feeling at the moment.

Then, Dean's hand was on his face again. With his thumb, Dean rubbed his cheek before he pushed it in his mouth, forcing him to taste more of the salty fluid.

''This is how things are now and it's not going to change, so accept it.'' Dean snarled before he pulled his jeans back and left.


	5. I forgive you.

This was the first time when Dean returned when the angel wasn’t asleep. Now, Castiel was just sitting on the bed and the angel immediately looked up when Dean opened the door. He looked better, he thought. He had left the angel alone for a week this time. Dean figured that solitude was a good approach to slowly break one’s resistance. Yet, he wasn’t sure if the method would be all that effective on an angel, since a day would probably just seem like a heartbeat to them.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Castiel. He didn’t move away. ‘’Soo… how are we feeling?’’ Dean asked. 

Castiel looked uncertainly back at him. ‘’I feel fine Dean.’’ He said. 

‘’Good.’’ Dean responded and he smiled. He couldn’t help but notice how docile Castiel was behaving. Maybe his method of leaving him alone for periods at a time actually did work on the angel, he thought. Dean wondered if he would be able to get him to apologise. He knew that he must be pushing his luck but he couldn’t help himself. ‘’Is there something you’d like to say to me?’’ He asked. 

Castiel looked down. Dean had to wait a few moments, but eventually he looked up and spoke. ‘’Dean... I apologise for attacking you. I shouldn’t have done it. I-I just wanted to get away because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to help you while locked away here. But, I shouldn’t have attacked you and I shouldn’t have stabbed you.’’ Dean loved what he was hearing and tried to repress his smile. 

‘’Please forgive me.’’ Castiel finally added, before looking down again. 

Dean approached Castiel further on the bed and cupped his cheek. ‘’I forgive you.’’ Castiel looked up at him with a small smile on his face. ‘’Let’s just forget about it, okay?’’ He said and Castiel nodded.

‘’Is the collar still hurting you?’’ Dean wanted to know.

‘’No.’’ Castiel said, shaking his head. ‘’It feels better now.’’ He admitted. ‘’And you?’’ He asked, probably alluding to his stabbed shoulder. Dean smiled and answered him with a kiss. Moving his hand to the back of Castiel's head, he pulled the angel towards him. Castiel responded immediately, however uncertain. Dean could feel him quiver as he trailed a hand down his spine and through his hair again. Dean broke the kiss shortly to move over to straddle the angel’s hips. After a moment, Dean pulled Castiel’s head back with the hand that was still in his hair, and started trailing kisses down his jaw and neck.

‘’So perfect for me, angel.’’ Dean whispered. He really was.

Castiel still felt a little tense, yet, Dean could feel him gradually relaxing under his attentions. After another few moments of kissing, Dean figured that it was about time for them to lose their clothes. He snapped his fingers and as a result they were both in their boxers. To his surprise though, Castiel didn’t seem that bothered by his action. Yet, he wasn’t complaining. As they made out, Dean could feel both his as Castiel’s arousal growing steadily. He continued sucking marks into Castiel’s neck and he let his hands wander lower. As Dean slipped a hand inside Castiel’s boxers, he could hear him gasp. yet, not before long the angel was bucking into the demon’s palm with a needy moan. 

Determined to get more of those out of Castiel, he pulled Castiel’s member out from under the fabric and swallowed him down. Castiel gasped and bucked into Dean’s mouth. Castiel's hands moved from clutching the bedsheet to Dean’s hair. The angel groaned as Dean swirled his tongue around his cock. He kept working him for several minutes and judging from the sounds Castiel was making, he could do no wrong. And God he was enjoying the sounds the angel was producing. Dean was smiling around his cock, he loved the fact that he was able to reduce Castiel to a moaning mess. 

Castiel came gasping Dean’s name. When he let go of his hair, Dean sat back on his knees. The angel was gasping loudly underneath him and tucked himself back into his boxers. Castiel surprised him however, when he moved up to sit on his knees and leaned in to kiss him. That was certainly different from last time. Back then, the angel couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Yet, now things had changed and the angel was actually initiating something. They kept kissing for a while, exploring each other’s mouths. Since Castiel seemed eager enough, Dean figured that there would be a chance that the angel would be willing to suck him off too. God, he wanted that, he thought. So, although it was very enjoyable, he pulled away from the kiss and tugged his own boxers down. 

He was looking at Castiel expectantly and he was looking back at him hesitantly. Castiel took a moment to himself. He seemed uncertain, so Dean gave him a small nod. He saw Castiel taking a deep breath before he leaned forward. He gripped the base of his cock and gave Dean one last look. Then, he took the head in his mouth and sucked. The sight of Castiel in front of him was incredibly hot. He thought that the angel was hot while he was being sucked off, all desperate and needy, but it was nothing compared to this. Dean was in awe looking at the angel's lips wrapped around him, working him up and down. An actual angel was on his knees before him, sucking him off; it was a power trip. Dean groaned and buried his hands buried in Castiel’s hair, guiding him. 

‘’Oh fuck, baby. Yes.’’ Dean growled. ‘’Ugh, yes. Keep your mouth like that.” 

It was noticeable that Castiel was inexperienced, but he wasn’t half that bad for a first timer. Dean mused that he had enough time left with the angel to turn him in a perfect little cocksucker for him.

''Ugh, yess Cas.'' He couldn't help but groan when Castiel made a particularly pleasurable movement. Dean noticed that Castiel was copying a lot of his movements from him. Guess it was a good idea after all to give first after all. “You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” He said.

It wasn’t long until he came. Again, he noticed Castiel trying to copy him, as he attempted to swallow as much of Dean down as he could. When it was over, Castiel went to sit against the headboard again. Dean moved towards him and kissed him. He could still taste himself on Castiel’s lips. 

‘’Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?’’

 

 

xxx

 

 

‘’Uh, no.’’ He answered honestly. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the whole thing, but… it wasn’t so bad. Dean’s face still being so close to his also made it hard for him to process what had happened. For the moment, all he could think about was Dean’s perfect face and Dean's lips being so close to his. 

Dean was smiling at him and stroked his cheek. ‘’See. You want me, Cas. That’s nothing to be ashamed about.’’

He looked down. He wouldn’t exactly agree with that statement. Now that he was down from his high, doubts and also regret filled his mind; he had just submitted to a demon, done everything Dean wanted him to. His initial motive for being compliant had been to prevent getting treated like he was last time; he didn't so much want to experience that again. Yet, Castiel had to admit to himself that his actions weren't all out of self-preservation. He didn't have to kiss Dean, he didn't have to pleasure him; Dean hadn't forced him to do those things. He did it out of his own accord and in his opinion, that was something to be ashamed about. Castiel wished that he was able to stay in that bliss from a few moments before. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. He had no idea of what had gotten into him just now. Dean hadn't forced him this time; he had just kissed and pleased Dean out of his own accord. How could he do that? It was all kinds of wrong. Nevertheless, not wanting Dean to suspect his regrets of giving in, he quickly looked up again and forced himself to smile. 

Dean returned his smile. ‘’I knew you would turn into a good pet for me eventually.’’ He said, climbing off the bed. 

Hearing Dean’s statement, the smile dropped from his face and he looked down again, embarrassed. He really didn’t like the fact that Dean had just called him his pet. Dean had said it as if it were a compliment, but despite that, it still felt humiliating. He knew that he shouldn’t be picking fights and he knew it was quite trivial, but he couldn’t let it go, the statement really bothered him.

‘’Could you not do that?’’ He asked Dean, who was suddenly fully clothed again.

Dean had been standing with his back towards him, but turned around as Castiel spoke. ‘’Do what?’’ He asked questioningly.

‘’Call me your pet.’’ 

Dean smirked. ‘’Oh, you don’t like that?’’

‘’No.’’ He responded irritably, he thought that was obvious.

‘’Well, then that’s just too bad because I think that I’ll call you whatever the hell I damn well please.’’ Dean snarled. 

He could see Dean visibly getting angrier, so he decided that it was best to just drop it for now. He really didn’t want Dean angry at him again. He also didn’t want to see Dean’s eyes turning black again, the sight of it was just horrible to him. He didn’t know what to do though. He was sure apologising would ease Dean again, but he didn’t want to. The apology wouldn’t have been genuine anyway. So, he chose to just look away.

''Besides, I was only complimenting you on your turn-around. You realising your place and all.''

Castiel frowned. ''That was a mistake.''

''A mistake?'' Dean repeated, with a mocking expression of surprise on his face. ''Gosh Cas, way to hurt someones feelings.''

''Didn't realise you had them.'' He mumbled back, thinking Dean wouldn't hear.

''What was that?'' Dean asked him with a hint of anger in his voice. He had heard. 

Not wanting to let this visit end like the last -him beaten up and broken-, Castiel decided to appease him. He just didn't want to fight again. ''Uh nothing... I'm sorry.'' He therefore said quickly. He knew the apology was weak, but he hoped it was enough.

‘’Whatever.'' Dean huffed. ''And here I thought that we were making progress. I have to go. Try to be less of a bitch when I get back okay?’’ He said, walking out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thank you if you're still with me. If you have any feedback or suggestions for further chapters, let me know!


	6. So good for me.

It was a long list this time, but Dean didn’t mind. The lists were never too long for him. Crowley would text him a dozen of names and addresses, and he would do the job. And he fucking loved his job. His arrangement with Crowley however, wasn’t working so perfect anymore. The demon was still giving him whatever he wanted, that wasn’t the problem. His issue with the demon was that he was always complaining lately. Dean did his jobs, yet apparently, not every one of them had gone exactly as the demon had wanted it to. Crowley kept trying to control him and it started to bother the hell out of him. He might be the King of Hell, but that certainly didn’t mean that he was the boss of him.

Dean wondered how the demon would react to how he had handled the last name on this list. He would probably be pissed. Oh well… He just couldn’t help it; the guy was just such a fucking loser. He had almost gone in and just killed her, he almost did exactly as he was told. But suddenly, there he was in the driveway, the fucking idiot. He had come to watch… How pathetic was that? When Dean had gone into the car and talked to the guy, he couldn’t help himself. The bullshit alone that came out of the man's mouth was already enough for him to want to off the guy, but when that little shit had called him a punk ass demon and started to order him around, Dean was done. He stabbed him and god it was satisfying. 

Still, he was the client and Crowley wouldn’t be happy about it. However, he didn’t care much about that. He would be able to find out his reaction in any minute, as he was walking into the bar where he had agreed to meet the demon. 

He walked in and saw that Crowley was accompanied by two of his minions. 

‘’Dean!’’ Crowley greeted him enthusiastically. ‘’How did it go?’’

‘’Fine. They’re dead, and you’re right I feel amazing.’’ He said smiling. ‘’There’s just one thing.’’ He continued. ‘’The last one, Mindy Morris, not dead. Dear old Lester however…’’

Crowley looked perplexed. ‘’The client? You killed the client!? He asked angrily. 

‘’Does it matter? He was a douche, now he’s a dead douche.’’

‘’Of course it matters. The deal was one dead wife for one soul. The wife’s not dead, I don’t get the soul, it’s math!’’ Crowley shouted. 

‘’Well there you go.’’ Dean responded before turning on his heel. He was done talking to Crowley, especially since he was in such a pissy mood right now.

‘’Hey don’t turn your back on me.’’ Crowley ordered.

That made Dean chuckle. If the demon thought that he could just order him around, he had another thing coming. He turned to face Crowley and shoved the demon onto the floor. That felt good. He watched as the demon got up again.

‘’What do you think you’re doing?’’ He asked.

‘’Oh whatever I want.’’ Dean sneered.

‘’Really? Because I think you don’t know what you want. What are you? A demon? If so, why isn’t Lester’s wife dead? Did you feel sorry for her? So maybe you’re human… except you have those pretty black peepers and you’re working alongside me. Why don’t you do us all a great big favour and pick a bloody side!?’’ Crowley yelled. 

Fucking fine, Dean thought. If the demon wanted him to pick a side, he would have no trouble doing so. Dean had just about enough of him, and it wasn’t like he really needed him anyway. 

‘’Okay fine. This arrangement here, is over. I ain’t taking orders from you and I ain’t your fucking bestie. So if you want me to pick a side… it’s not yours that I’m picking.’’ He sneered.

Crowley looked disappointed. ‘’Fine, it’s over.’’ He told him. ‘’What can I say, the crazy ones they’re good for a fling, not relationship material.’’ He then told the demons. 

Hilarious, Dean thought. ‘’Are you done?’’ He asked.

‘’Hmm no, not exactly.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’ 

‘’It means that I want you to get out of hell. I don’t care where you go, but hell is my kingdom and I want you gone.’’ Crowley demanded. 

He hadn’t thought about that, and he honestly didn’t want to go. In contrast to Crowley, he actually did like spending time in hell. Besides, it was the best place to keep Castiel captive. It would be harder to keep him captive on earth.

‘’Or what?’’ He challenged. 

‘’Dean, I have an entire army of demons behind me, don’t you think I can make you?’’ Crowley said and Dean had to admit that he was probably right. Yet, the demon wasn’t done. ‘’Or… I could just zap over there right now and grab your little angel to keep for myself. I’m sure I’ll be able to get there before you can, since you can’t teleport and all… Really, I wouldn’t mind taking care of him for a while. And if I were to do that, there would be nothing binding you to hell anymore, would there? So, what do you say?’’ Crowley threatened with a smirk on his face. He knew that he had him. 

‘’Okay, fine! I’ll leave!’’ Dean snarled. Crowley was right, he did have the upper hand. Dean also couldn’t stand the thought of Crowley laying a finger on Cas. Castiel was his. 

‘’Good. We’re settled then.’’ Crowley said, and with a snap of his fingers, he and the demons were gone. 

It took him two hours to get to the nearest hell-gate and to return to hell. When he was standing in front of the door of Castiel’s room he was still pissed. The fight with Crowley had really riled him up. He wanted to hit something. Yet, he tried to keep his calm. He had to think about where he would go on earth. There were plans he had to make. He wondered what would be a good place to settle and to keep Cas until the deal with Sam was made. 

The whole thing was a mess, and everything had been going so well. Fucking Crowley... 

Castiel was standing in the middle of the room when he came in. The first thing he noticed about him was that he was still only in his boxers. And what a sight it was... Dean figured that it hadn’t occurred to him to zap the angel’s clothes back before he left last time. Right now, he was thanking his former self for forgetting about doing that. Castiel was looking at him wide-eyed -like a deer in headlights- and he looked absolutely delicious. 

Looking at the almost naked angel before him, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself. Not tonight. He needed a release. Moreover, he figured he deserved it. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

He had been pacing the room when suddenly, Dean was in the door opening. He was surprised, because Dean had been gone for a week and he kind of had gotten used to the solitude. He looked at Dean who was staring at him. He felt uncomfortable, because he was standing in the middle of the room, in his underwear. He really hated the fact that Dean hadn’t given him his clothes back before he left last time. The stares he received from the demons that brought him his food became even more derisive and judgemental than before.

All of a sudden, he realised that his appearance was also the reason why Dean was staring at him. He wondered why he didn’t notice it right away. The look on Dean’s face was almost predatory. 

Dean started walking towards him and he felt rooted to the spot. He was apprehensive of what was coming next. He felt vulnerable, the collar on his neck rendered him powerless. Yet, all that Dean did was slide his hand to his hair and pull him into a kiss. The kiss was rough, yet Castiel still enjoyed it. However, after a few moments, he drew back, pushing himself away from Dean a little. He just couldn't do it again. When Dean was gone, he had a lot of time to think. And he had thought a lot about what Dean and he had done, about what he had done. The main conclusion was that it was just wrong and that there was no other word for it. Even though a part of him wanted it -wanted Dean-, he decided that he wouldn't give into it again.

Dean didn't seem upset that he had drawn back. ‘’Hmm… I love the way you taste, my pet.’’ He said with a smirk. He probably knew that the nickname would still bother him, but Dean didn’t seem to care. Yet, Castiel knew better than to bring it up again.

Suddenly however, the fingers in his hair painfully tightened and Castiel winced. ‘’Argh Dean!’’ He exclaimed.

Dean leaned into him and he could feel his lips trace his ear. "Now, angel dear, there is something really fun we haven't done yet." Dean whispered. ''And I think it's time.''

Dean’s words sent shivers down his spine and a whimper escaped his mouth. When Dean drew back and forcefully pulled him down so he would kneel, Castiel had no choice but to obey and he dropped to the ground. He groaned, the black stones felt hard and cold against the exposed skin of his knees. It made him wish that they were doing this on the bed. 

Looking up, Castiel could see that Dean was undoing the button and zipper of his jeans with the hand that wasn’t still gripping his scalp tightly. He exposed his half hard member and stroked it a few times before staging himself to Castiel.

Castiel was panting, still overwhelmed by Dean’s rough treatment. He looked away from Dean’s cock at Dean whose eyes were filled with lust. Then he was looking down again and was faced with Dean’s member again, it was hard and inches from his face. 

Dean’s behaviour and the look in his eyes made it clear to him that it was going to happen whether he complied or not. Castiel guessed that it would be best for him to cooperate a little; he didn’t want to do it the hard way. So, he parted his lips slowly, and he couldn’t miss Dean’s expression of pride when he looked up. Castiel opened his mouth wider and immediately, Dean thrust forcefully into him. Flesh slid against his lips and he could hear Dean moaning loudly right away. 

‘’Ahh, Cas.’’ he groaned. ‘’Your mouth feels so good, you know that? So hot and warm.’’

Dean thrusted deep inside his mouth and Castiel could feel his eyes water. It was painful. This time felt so very different from the last. Back then, Dean had let him work him on his own accord and he was able to keep his own pace. Now, Dean was thrusting into him, hand still gripped tight in his hair, giving him no choice but to take it. No chance for him to keep his own pace now. When after another few thrusts Dean tipped something at the back of his throat, Castiel had to do his best not to gag around Dean’s cock. 

Apparently, his struggle was visible to Dean. His left hand was still on his scalp, but his free right one he moved to cup his jaw tightly. ‘’You better watch it.’’ Dean said. "You really don’t want what I am going to do to you if you’re going to gag on my dick.’’ He threatened and then he smiled again. ‘’Come on sweetheart, I know you can do better than this.’’ He said, letting go of his jaw again. 

Following Dean’s threats Castiel tried his best to relax his throat, but it still remained a struggle. Dean had started fucking into him relentlessly, and Castiel couldn’t control the tears that started to stream down his face. The whole thing was just too painful and it took him too much effort. Yet, he could also feel a warmth and lust spreading inside of him, which surprised him. It was confusing to him because it was painful, but somehow he was also enjoying it slightly. 

‘’Oh shit. You’re actually liking this, aren’t you?’’ Dean asked. Apparently Dean had noticed that he had become slightly aroused by the whole thing. Yet, he was sure Dean didn’t really expect an answer. Even so, he wouldn’t have been able to give one. 

Dean kept thrusting into him for another few moments, until he pulled out. Precum dripped from Castiel’s reddened lips as Dean slid himself from his mouth. He wiped his chin, trying to wipe his own saliva off of it. He looked up at Dean with still watery eyes, gasping and wondering why the demon had stopped his thrusting before he had come. The reason became clear after a few seconds, when Dean spoke.

‘’Now angel, I want you to get on the bed for me, on all fours.’’

Castiel was a little shocked, only now realising where Dean wanted it to go. He figured he should have realised it earlier, when Dean was talking about 'something really fun they hadn't done yet'. He dreaded doing that. He didn't want to.

''Dean, no. We can't.'' He pleaded, still on his knees looking up at Dean.

Dean smiled menacingly before his neck was gripped tightly.

''Now you listen to me. You are going to do exactly as I say, you hear me? I don't want to hear another 'no' coming from you, understand?'' Dean snarled.

Castiel clawed without success at Dean's hands which were restricting his breathing. He needed air. He could feel his eyes watering again.

''Dean please.'' He choked out.

Dean smiled and let him go. ''That's already a lot better.''

Castiel took a few breaths, before he got to his feet and walked over to the bed where he got on his hands and knees on the mattress, just as Dean had ordered him to. In the position he felt vulnerable and scared, but there was nothing he could do.

‘’So good for me.’’ Dean praised him. Then he also approached the bed before seating himself behind him. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

Dean was content, despite needing a nudge in the right direction, Castiel eventually did exactly as he was told. Dean had followed Castiel on the bed right away, since he almost couldn’t wait for what was coming next. He wanted to fuck Cas for so long; he just couldn’t admit to himself before. Yet, looking at the sight of the angel before him, he wondered how he ever had the strength to resist.

‘’Oh angel, you have no idea how long I wanted you like this.’’ He said while fitting his palm over the curve of a cheek. “I denied it for so long, but that doesn’t matter anymore now, huh angel?” He said and Castiel remained quiet, the only sounds coming from him being his panting. Wanting to get some sounds from him, he slid his cock over the cleft of Castiel’s ass for emphasis, trailing precome. As a result, a small gasp escaped out of the angel’s throat.

Dean was incredibly aroused and he wanted nothing more than just to enter the angel and feel his heat. Yet, he wasn’t relentless and he knew that it would be extremely painful for him if he would do so. He tried to muster some patience and began to prep Castiel. He sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, before he pulled Castiel’s boxers down. He figured that it wouldn’t really be sufficient though, but he didn’t really care that much anyway. So, he pushed his spit-slicked fingers into Castiel and they actually slid in easily enough; the feel of it made Dean groan. However, Castiel still whimpered at the intrusion. Looking at his fingers sliding in and out Castiel’s tight ring of muscles, Dean decided very quickly that it was enough. He had showed the angel enough patience, he thought. So, he pulled his fingers free and spit into his hand, rubbing his saliva hastily over his cock. He aligned himself and then suddenly pushed himself in with a groan. 

‘’Argh D-dean.’’ Castiel whined.

Dean seated himself in him while digging his fingers into Castiel’s hips, pulling the angel back on his cock. Dean noticed that the angel was doing his best to relax, he probably knew that that was for the best. It must still be painful though, Dean thought. 

‘’Ugh yes Cas. Such a good slut for me.’’ He groaned as he begun his thrusting. 

Castiel didn’t respond to what he said, he could only hear the angel gasp and groan, trying his best to keep it together. 

''You're taking me so well Cas, fucking made for this.'' 

Castiel groaned in response 

''Ugh, oh God.'' Dean could suddenly hear Castiel mutter between his panting.

''Oh baby, you must know by now that there is no God. Everything you believed in was a lie. There is just me.'' He said as he once again slammed into Castiel's hole. A surge of possessiveness ran through him. ‘’I want you to forget everything but this, everything but me.’’ He growled.

Castiel didn't respond, but Dean didn't care. The desperate gasps, whines, whimpers and moans the angel produced were more than enough for him. He fucks Castiel, loving the tight heat of the angel and loving being so close to him. 

“Yess. Fuck, Cas!” Dean groaned as he came. He spilled himself inside of the angel underneath him with the satisfaction of corruption polluting his pleasure in such a delicious way. 

When he was done coming inside of him, he didn’t move. Castiel was shuddering around him, hands clutching the bedsheets. He was still hard from all the stimulation his prostate had received and Dean knew that he was probably very desperate for release. 

He smirked. ‘’I know that you’re close Cas. It would only take one touch of my hand, would it?’’

‘’D-dean.’’ Castiel pleaded. He was panting heavily underneath him. 

Dean chuckled. ‘’Don’t worry baby, I’ll touch you. You only have to beg Cas. Just say what I want to hear.’’ He couldn’t help but request it. He knew that Castiel would do anything he asked him to at the moment, and he really wanted to hear the angel beg. 

Castiel was shaking his head. ''No, I-I can't.'' He said. 

Sure you can. Just do it.'' He prompted. ''Everything will all be over.''

For a minute, Castiel was quiet, then Dean could hear Castiel making a small sound, as if he was trying to stop himself. However, after a few moments, the angel gave in.

‘’P-please Dean.’’ He pleaded in a shaky voice.

Dean smiled. ‘’Please what Cas?’’

‘’T-touch me... Please. Please, I need-‘’

His pleading was cut off when Dean wrapped around his cock, stroking it gently. Just a few strokes were enough and Castiel came. After that, Dean slid out of him and sat back. Castiel collapsed on the mattress in front of him. 

Dean had to say that Castiel wore sex well. The angel lay on his stomach panting, hair made black from sweat, pale skin glistening. He looked absolutely sinful, like something unholy. Nevertheless, Dean guessed that he was actually the unholy one out of them two; not just because he was a demon, also because he had just brought an angel so low, debased him so completely. He chuckled. He couldn’t help but admit that debasing him was actually part of the appeal for him. A part of him really got off on fucking a creature of the Lord; a part of him couldn’t help but find enjoyment in the angel’s fall from grace. 

The sight of Castiel in the afterglow of it was amazing. He was still panting unsteadily and had red marks on his sides where he had gripped him tightly. Dean smiled. “I wish you could see yourself.” He told Castiel; the angel only groaned. 

As much as Dean had liked to stay there, on the bed with the angel, he suddenly realised they had better get going. Crowley hadn’t told him exactly when he needed to be gone, but Dean didn’t want to risk anything. 

‘’Get up, we have to go.’’ He told Castiel.

Castiel rolled onto his back and sat up. ‘’G-go? Go where Dean?’’

Dean smiled.

‘’You’ll see.’’


	7. We should talk about Castiel.

They went back to earth. Yet, Castiel could only guess where exactly they were going because Dean wouldn’t say anything. He was glad that they had left hell though, something about being there had never sat well with him. The atmosphere was so dark and glooming; it just was no place for angels. However, their sudden change of location was something he had wondered about. Dean always seemed perfectly content with them spending their time together in hell, and he also got the feeling that Dean actually liked it there. He wondered if it had something to do with Sam. Maybe Sam and Dean had had contact, or where about to, he thought. He had asked Dean about it, but he wouldn’t answer him. So, he could only wonder.

After spending a few quiet hours in the impala together, they arrived at a place that was familiar to him. It didn’t take him long to recognise the place. It was one of Crowley’s mansions; it happened to be just the one where he had tracked Crowley to, the first time he had encountered the demon. It was also the mansion where Sam and Dean had met the demon for the first time. He wondered why Dean had chosen to go here. 

They entered the gates and Dean parked his car on the driveway. 

‘’You recognise it. Don’t you?’’ Dean asked him, looking towards him. 

‘’Uhm yes… Would you mind telling me what we’re doing here?’’ He asked. He didn’t want to push, but his curiosity got the better of him. 

‘’Here I thought that you would like a change of scenery.’’ Dean evaded jokingly. 

‘’Dean.’’

‘’Okay, fine.’’ Dean sighed. ‘’I’m gonna call Sam, and since I already know how he is going to respond, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get back to earth already.’’

Castiel somehow got the feeling that Dean wasn’t telling him everything. He frowned. ‘’And why all of a sudden did you decide to go and call Sam? You always seemed intent on postponing that.’’

Dean smiled. ‘’That doesn’t concern you sweetheart.’’ He said and smirked, before he got out of the car.

Castiel got out too and followed Dean inside. 

‘’Why did you decide to go here?’’ He implored further as they were walking through the mansion. 

‘’Hmm, it just seemed as good of a place as any. I knew it was heavily warded; it’s not easily penetrable and also impossible for you to leave. Seemed just the perfect place to keep you to be honest. I thought about going to one of Rufus’s cabins or some abandoned warehouse, but I figured that Sam could find us there without too much effort, and I don’t want him taking me by surprise. Besides, this place has a much better ambiance, don’t you think?’’ Dean winked at him, but Castiel didn’t respond. 

He followed Dean up until they were in the bedroom. Dean let his duffel bag down and took his phone out.

‘’I want you to stay in this room, got it?’’

Castiel nodded. 

Within a few seconds Dean had left the room and Castiel was sure this was the moment Dean was going to call Sam. He wished he was without the collar, so that he could hear what Dean was saying. But he couldn’t. So, he decided to just sit down on the bed and wait until Dean would come back. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

He dialled Sam’s number, only after a few short moments, he heard his brother’s voice.

‘’Hello?’’ Sam asked uncertainly. 

‘’Sammy!’’ He responded with a happy voice.

‘’Dean… Is this you?’’

He smiled. ‘’Yes it’s me! So good to hear your voice again.’’ He said conversationally, yet he didn’t mean a word of it. 

‘’Cut the crap Dean, what do you want?’’

‘’Hmm, straight to business then. I just figured… we should talk about Castiel.’’

‘’Cas?’’ Sam said, sounding surprised. ‘’What about him?’’ He asked with a concerned tone. 

He sighed. ‘’Come on Sam, where do you think he has been all this time?’’

For a moment, the other end of the line remained quiet. ‘’You have him? Dean, what did you do? Is he okay?’’

He sighed again. ‘’Sammy calm down, he’s fine.’’

‘’Dean! Cas is your friend. Let him go!’’

He smiled. ‘’That’s exactly why I’m calling you. I’m willing to let him go, but if I will do that is up to you.’’

‘’What do you want?’’ Sam asked him quietly.

‘’I want to meet tomorrow night, outside of the bunker. I want you to sign a contract.’’

‘’That says?’’

‘’That says that you’re going to stop chasing me down, that you’ll stop looking for me. If you will do so, you’ll have Cas back. Safe and sound.’’ He assured him.

‘’And if I won’t?’’ He asked tentatively.

‘’Then I’ll kill him.’’ He threatened.

‘’Dean!’’ Sam exclaimed.

‘’Just be there.’’ Dean said, before hanging up. 

He smiled to himself. As he had told Castiel, he knew what his brother would do. He would make the deal. He couldn’t imagine Sam just letting Castiel die like that. Not that he would actually go through with it, if Sam were to refuse. Yet, Sam didn’t know that. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind keeping the angel around for another while. They were having fun, Dean thought and smiled. Come to think of it, he would maybe even miss the angel a little.

Nevertheless, it had to be done. So, he started to draw the contract. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

Sam was stunned, and worry about Castiel filled his mind. His friend had been gone for over a month now and Dean had apparently held him captive all that time. Sam could only wonder what he did to him. Dean had said he was fine, but he certainly didn’t trust his brother’s words. Sam wished he had asked Dean to put Castiel on the phone for a second. He should’ve thought about that. Sam wondered if he should call Dean back to try and talk to Castiel, but he knew it would be no use calling back. Dean never answered his calls, and he doubted he would start to now. Moreover, he sincerely doubted that his brother would grant him any request.

He had to help Castiel, that was all he knew. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for the angel’s current situation. How could he forget that he was the one that suggested they parted ways, with as a result the angel being on his own, all vulnerable to be caught by Dean. He regretted it now. He had known that Castiel was weak and that his grace was fading; he should have had considered that before abandoning him.

When the angel disappeared and stopped answering his calls, he had looked. He had put his search on Dean on hold in order to focus on Castiel’s whereabouts. It wasn’t hard to find the last motel room he had stayed in. When he had inspected the room he couldn’t find a trace of struggle though, it was almost like Castiel had left it and just hadn’t returned. It didn’t cross his mind that he could have been taken. After that, he continued his searching but slowly he began to wonder if the angel was even alive anymore. Sam knew about his state and that he didn’t had long. He had suggested Castiel to track down his grace together, but the angel seemed unwilling. It was almost like he didn’t want to live anymore in a world without Dean in it. Sam could relate. 

He kept pacing the bunker for a while, thinking of how he should have handled things differently. Yet, after a while he stopped, knowing that it wouldn’t help his friend. 

Sam thought about the deal. If it were to come down to it, he would take it. It would pain him greatly to stop looking for his brother altogether, but he just had to help Castiel. If he wouldn’t do anything, he would be killed. Yet, Sam started to wonder if there was another way. He still had time before the deal would go down, maybe there was a way that didn’t involve giving up on either Dean or Cas, he thought.

After thinking and strategising for a while, he resolved that it was possible for him to track Dean down before tomorrow night and get him by surprise. He could capture Dean, take him to the bunker and cure him. And Castiel would be safe. 

However, his plan was far from perfect. He didn’t exactly know how to track Dean down, since he had been trying for months with no luck. He wasn’t even sure if his brother even was on earth right now or not. He needed help. He needed... Crowley. So, he started to get the herbs together for the summoning spell. He knew that there was a large chance that the demon wouldn’t show up, but he had to try. He read out the incantation and lit the bowl before him. To his surprise, Crowley appeared in front of him. There was no devil’s trap this time, Sam knew that drawing one wouldn’t help anything.

‘’Moose.’’ The demon said smirking. 

Always with the stupid nickname, Sam thought. ‘’Crowley.’’ He nodded. 

‘’Let me guess, your brother has posed you the deal. And you need my help?’’

‘’What? You knew about it? You knew that he has been keeping Cas-‘’

‘’Oh please.’’ Crowley interrupted him. ‘’Do you honestly think I care about that obnoxious angel?’’

Sam sighed. They were straying from the matter at hand. So, he didn’t answer and changed the topic. ‘’Crowley, do you know where they are or not?’’ He asked.

The demon smiled. ‘’I think I have an idea, yes.’’

‘’Please just tell me.’’

‘’I happen to know that your brother is occupying one of my mansions.’’ When he looked at Crowley questioningly, the demon continued. ‘’The one you and your brother have been to, the one where we first met.’’ He said, smiling. 

‘’You’re sure?’’ He asked and the demon nodded. 

‘’Why are you telling me all this?’’ He wanted to know. 

‘’Your brother has been messing things up for me, he is uncontrollable. I want you to turn him back so that I’m sure he won’t be causing trouble for me anymore.’’ Crowley said, and for some reason, Sam believed him. 

‘’I will.’’ He said determinedly before the demon disappeared. 

Now, Sam knew where to go, he just prayed to God that his plan would work.

 

 

xxx

 

 

God he would miss this, Dean thought. He and Castiel were on the bed having their goodbye fuck. The angel only didn’t know that it was. When he had finished drawing up the contract, he figured that he should really get one last fuck out of the angel, now that he still could. As expected, Castiel complied easily enough. He really had learned to accept his place, Dean mused.

As much as he liked having Castiel on all fours in front of him, he wanted to try something different this time. So, he had pulled him into a sitting position, before manhandling him so that the angel found himself on his knees over Dean’s lap. Castiel’s thighs ended up straddling his hips and Dean loved that this way, he could have a good view on his angel’s face. Now, he could see every little reaction when he did something. 

Deans slid his cock into the angel and grabbed his hips and pushed down as he thrust up, sheathing himself fully. After a while, Castiel fell forward, obviously having trouble with the pace Dean had set, despite all his efforts to keep up. Dean helped him a little by wrapping his arm around Castiel’s shoulders before he continued his punishing pace. 

Dean watched Castiel as he was riding him for the first time. He watched the way the angel’s thigh muscles clenched around his hips and he watched the way his mouth was hanging open as little whimpers and whines escaped from it. Each and every time, Dean only slammed himself down harder into the angel. When his lips met Castiel’s momentarily, he bit down his lip so hard that it turned red and swelled. Moments later, Castiel came with a breathless gasp and he was panting Dean’s name as he came hard all over Dean’s stomach. It didn’t take long after that, before Dean came too. 

After, Castiel lay himself down on the mattress, still panting. It was noticeable that the angel was doing all he could to avoid his gaze. Dean smirked as he realised that the poor thing was probably too embarrassed to look at him. Dean stood up, put on some clothes and walked to the alcohol tray that he had noticed standing in the room. Crowley did have some good ideas from time to time, he thought. He sat down and poured himself a drink. He almost offered Castiel one, but it seemed like the angel needed a moment, so he left him alone. 

He was looking at the angel, still lying on the bed, wondering what they should do for their second round, when he suddenly he heard a noise. The bedroom door was slammed open and he could see Sam standing in the doorway. Dean hadn’t seen that coming. Maybe he should have. His brother was resourceful and he could have expected him to try and weasel himself out of making the deal.

 

 

xxx

 

 

There he was, just a few meters away from him. It felt so strange seeing Dean again after such a long time. Yet, all things aside, he looked well. Dean was sitting on a chair on the left of the room and he could see that his brother was surprised to see him. However, he all of a sudden noticed that Dean wasn’t the only one that was looking at him. On the bed on the right side of the room, was Castiel. To say that the sight of the angel had shocked him a little was an understatement. He was lying on the bed, only wearing a pair of boxers and a leather collar around his neck. He looked okay though, healthier even, compared to the last time he had seen the angel. At least that was a good thing.

He stopped looking at Castiel however, when he heard Dean speak.

‘’Hiya Sam.’’

‘’Dean.’’ He nodded. ‘’By the way, your pal Crowley sold you out.’’ He couldn’t help but say. 

Dean huffed. ‘’Sounds like him.’’ He said and he got up from his seat. He seemed ready to fight. Yet, Sam couldn’t help but try to reason with him first. 

‘’Dean, hold on a second. You don’t have to do this; we know how to cure demons. Do you remember that?’’ He asked.

‘’A little Latin, a lot of blood; it rings a bell. Did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn’t have bailed?’’

‘’That was Crowley.’’ He said.

Dean smiled. ‘’It really wasn’t.’’ He contended. 

‘’That doesn’t matter alright, because whatever went down, whatever happened, we will fix it!’’

‘’Really? Because right now, I’m doing all I can not to come over there to rip your throat out… with my teeth. I’m giving you a chance Sam and you should take it.’’ He said threateningly. 

‘’I’m gonna have to pass. You’re coming with me, and so is Cas.’’

‘’Well… I’m not walking out of that door with you. I’m just not. So, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna kill me?’’ Dean challenged. 

‘’No.’’ Sam said before he slid the engraved cuffs out of his pocket. He wasn’t so sure about this part of his plan however. First, he had to overpower Dean in order to slid the cuffs on him, which would be a real challenge of itself. After that, he could only hope that they would work on Dean. They had worked on Crowley, yet, Dean was a Knight of Hell. Knights were powerful. 

‘’Do you really think those are gonna work?’’ Dean said smirking.

‘’There is just one way to find out.’’ He responded. 

Dean lunged at him, but Sam managed to dodge. Yet, only after another few hits, he was already on the floor. He thought that it would be a challenge to overpower Dean, but it had actually proven to be impossible. Dean was so much stronger than before and Sam just couldn’t hold his own against him. Dean was on top of him, beating into him. Sam couldn’t get him off of him, no matter how hard he tried. 

However, all of a sudden, Dean was off of him. Apparently Castiel had gotten up and tackled Dean. Now, all three of them were lying on the ground. Quickly, he threw the flask of holy water that was in his pocket towards Castiel since he was lying closer to Dean. Castiel caught it and started throwing its contents onto Dean. Dean momentarily hissed in pain on the floor and Sam took that opportunity to get the cuffs off the floor and around Dean’s wrists. The growl that came from Dean was almost animal-like. He sounded like a wild dog. 

Dean struggled against the cuffs, still growling, but his attempts were in vain.

‘’Stop! It’s over! It’s over Dean.’’ He yelled. 

It really was over. The cuffs managed to hold him, and now they could take Dean to the bunker. They could cure him. He looked over to Castiel and smiled. They did it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I just loved writing Crowley saying ''Moose''. Still loving that nickname. Anyway thanks for reading and for all the kudos!! Next chapter will be there very soon.


	8. Release me.

Castiel took the opportunity to put some clothes on while Sam led Dean to the impala. He still couldn’t fully comprehend that it was really over; that they could finally cure Dean. He had almost given up hope that he would ever return to normal.

When he approached the car, he could see that Sam had cuffed Dean to the door handle on the back seat. Sam was standing in front of the hood, waiting for him. 

‘’You ready?’’ Sam asked.

‘’Actually Sam, I was hoping you could take this off first.’’ He asked, gesturing towards the collar around his neck. Castiel wasn’t certain, but he believed that it had to be able to come off if any being besides an angel were to attempt to unfasten it. The sigils on the thing were only directed to angels after all. So, Sam tried and fortunately, he turned out to be right and it came off. Despite the fact that he had gotten used to the thing, it felt great to be rid of it. Now, he was ready to go. So he thanked Sam, they got into the car and left. 

The car ride to the bunker was painful and long. Or it seemed to be, because in reality, the bunker wasn’t even that far away from Crowley’s mansion. Yet, to Castiel, the ride seemed to take an eternity. He had sat next to Sam in the passenger's seat, while Dean sat in the back, cuffed to the door. Dean didn’t speak; he hadn’t said anything since he was captured, he only looked pissed. During the whole ride, Castiel couldn’t escape Dean’s glare. Castiel had noticed him staring at him menacingly when his eyes met Dean’s in the rear view mirror. After that, Castiel further avoided looking at the mirror, but somehow he could still feel Dean’s glare burning holes in the back of his head. 

They arrived at the bunker early in the morning. Sam didn’t need any help escorting Dean to the dungeon or help tying him to the chair; Dean went easily enough and Sam was much better qualified to tie him up anyways. Sam had figured that it was a good idea to add some rope to the handcuffs, just to be sure. Castiel had only been standing against the wall, watching. When the hunter had fastened the final knot, he walked over towards him. 

‘’So, I’m pretty sure that those will hold him.’’ He said in a hushed tone with a small smile.

‘’Yes.’’ He agreed. ‘’However I think we should start with the injections as soon as possible.’’ 

Sam nodded. ‘’I know. Listen, I’m going to have to go out to get the blood for the injections. Do you think um… that you will be okay, staying here with him for a while?’’ He asked tentatively.

Castiel could see Sam’s concern all over his face. He appreciated the question, however he would be fine, he thought. He could handle being alone with Dean. He realised that Sam possibly wasn’t so sure about that. Of course, he still didn’t know what had transpired between Dean and him and he probably assumed the worst. They just hadn’t had the time to talk about it. He guessed that Sam was worried that what Dean did to him was so bad that he would be afraid to be left alone in a room with Dean now. 

‘’I will be okay.’’ He reassured him and he meant it. Still, he hoped that Sam wouldn’t take too long. 

‘’Okay good. I will be back as soon as I can.’’ The hunter patted his shoulder and then left.

It didn’t take long before Dean spoke.

‘’Castiel release me.’’ He ordered.

Castiel couldn’t believe that Dean was still ordering him around. This time though, there was no way that he would do what Dean told him to. 

‘’No, Dean. Sam and I, we will cure you and-‘’

‘’Cure me from what?’’ Dean interrupted. ‘’I feel fine; I don’t need your cure.’’

‘’You don’t know what you’re saying.’’ He said quietly.

Dean huffed. ‘’Oh I do. Come on Cas, let me out of here; I swear, I won’t get mad at you for betraying me.’’

Castiel wished he would stop asking, probably a little out of fear that he wouldn’t be able to keep saying no to Dean for long.

‘’I didn’t betray you Dean, I… everything I did was for you. I’ve always had your best interests at heart and I still have, so I’m not letting you out of that trap.’’

‘’It’s not even gonna work, Cas. I mean really, the cure of purified blood? Your little cure might work on a regular demon but I’m a Knight of Hell, if you haven’t noticed. We’re a bit more powerful. So why not spare yourselves a lot of time and effort and-‘’

‘’Dean stop.’’ He said. Yet, his mind filled with doubt. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was any truth behind Dean’s words. He was right to say that he wasn’t a regular demon; he was a lot more powerful. Despite that, he figured that it still couldn’t hurt to try. 

‘’Cas, please. I'm still me; the only thing that has changed is that I'm not afraid to admit that I want you, that I… that I love you, Cas.’’ Dean said softly. 

Dean’s words hit him like a bullet. Castiel couldn’t believe Dean had just told him he loved him. It was like a dream. For a moment, he allowed himself to believe Dean’s words. Yet, deep down, he knew that Dean was only saying them in order to manipulate him. 

‘’No-no, stop playing me.’’ 

‘Cas I'm not.’’ Dean said, shaking his head. ‘’I love you and I always have. Why do you think I kept you for all that time? It's because I wanted to be with you, in ways I was scared off before. I'm not playing you.'' Dean said with pleading eyes. ‘’I want to hold you Cas, let me.’’ 

Castiel was torn between believing Dean’s tempting words and between following his instincts that were telling him that they were in reality, all lies. After a short moment of consideration, his instincts won out. As much as he wanted to believe Dean, he just couldn’t. 

‘’I’m sorry Dean, I can’t.’’ He said.

With that, Dean’s soft expression suddenly turned dark.

‘’Okay Cas, fine. But I can tell you that I will get out of this trap one way or the other and when I do, I won’t be so merciful. I swear, you and my brother are going to pay for this. You especially, since you’ve betrayed me. But I won’t mind, I think I’m really going to enjoy punishing you.’’

‘’Dean.’’ He said, hoping that an interruption would stop Dean from continuing vocalising his threats. However, the demon in front of him didn’t seem intent on stopping. 

‘’Even though you’re not wearing that pretty collar of yours anymore, it still won't be any problem for me to bring you down. By the way, has Sam asked you about it? Does he know that you’ve willingly been my pet for the last two months? That you’ve been whoring yourself out to me and enjoying it?’’ He asked, smirking. 

Castiel couldn’t respond. He only looked down.

‘’Oh he doesn’t!’’ Dean exclaimed. ‘’Sammy is probably still thinking you’ve been brutally tortured during all that time. Or maybe, he’s even thinking that I’ve raped you… Yet, you and I both know better than that now, do we Cas?’’ He winked. 

Castiel hated the words that came out of Dean’s mouth and he hated that there was some truth behind them. He wanted to leave the dungeon desperately, yet he and Sam had agreed that it was best if there was something staying and supervising Dean at all times. So, he stayed. 

‘’I think I’m not just going to kill you when I get out.’’ Dean continued. ‘’It would be a wasted opportunity really. I think I’m going to enjoy taking you one last time on this bunker floor before I’ll kill you. But, I guess you would actually like that, huh? You’ve been such a good and desperate slut for me in the past after all.’’

‘’Dean stop talking!’’ He suddenly exclaimed.

Dean smiled enjoying the effect his words had on the angel.

‘’Maybe we can even get Sam to watch. I would love to see the look on his face when he realises you haven’t been so much of a martyr after all.’’ He continued, smirking. ‘’Yet eventually, I will kill him too, obviously. But it wouldn’t hurt, giving my little brother a nice little sight to look at before his lights go out… And the kicker is, you would love it, just like you always do. You would open your legs for me, like the slut you are and take it. But believe me, I’m not going to go easy on you. If you think that we’ve been rough before, you’ll have another thing coming sweetheart. I’m going to have you begging for me out of pleasure and out of pain but you won’t be receiving any mercy from me, I can assure you that.’’

For a moment, Dean seemed done with his threats and Castiel was almost relieved, but then Dean continued again. 

‘’And after that, I won’t have any trouble killing you. You were right; I was playing you. I can’t believe you actually almost believed me saying that I cared about and loved you.’’ Dean was laughing and to Castiel, hearing this was hurting so much more compared to the humiliations from before. ‘’Fucking hell Cas, I never did; not now and not before. I know I told you that we were friends or family or whatever, but in reality, I only did so because you were useful to us. But hey, me telling you that I needed you wasn’t a lie!’’ Dean snickered. ‘’And of course, now as a demon, I even care less about you than I already did… I mean, you were always just a means to an end. It just happened that you also turned out to be a great fuck… Hmm, I wished I had known that before, I’m sure I could have asked you for a lot more than just your help. And you would have given it to me easily enough, wouldn’t you? God, who knew how desperate you turned out to be for me; too bad you’re love for me is so one-sided though.'' Dean chuckled. ''I guess I’m not that different from the old Dean in that respect; I only kept you around to use you, and in a way, so did he. Interesting, wouldn’t you agree?’’

He couldn’t take it anymore. The threats and humiliation were one thing, but hearing Dean say that he had never cared about him was another. Castiel tried not to let the words get to him, but it was hard not to listen. Even though he knew it was best that there was someone looking after Dean at all times, Castiel left. 

He couldn’t hear another word.

 

 

xxx

 

 

It took him about five hours to get the purified blood and to get back to the bunker. Five hours wasn’t that long considering he first had to go find a priest first that was willing to bless some bags of blood. He had posed as a doctor, so the question of getting access to the blood went easily enough though. He really wanted to move things along because he hadn’t felt good about leaving Castiel alone in the bunker with Dean. Castiel had said he was fine with it, but Sam was still concerned.

Thoughts had been plaguing his mind of what the angel must have went through while held captive by Dean. Initially, he had only thought that his brother had been torturing him. But that was up until he had walked in on them in Crowley’s mansion. He couldn’t forget the sight of Cas on the bed, almost naked and covered in sweat and… other things. Castiel had looked thoroughly used. He could only hope that Dean had gone easy on him. 

He was still thinking about it when he entered the bunker. To Sam’s surprise, he found Castiel sitting in the library. The angel hadn’t looked up or anything; he seemed to be deep in his thoughts. Sam wondered why he had left the dungeon, since they had agreed that it was important that there was always someone to keep an eye on Dean. Whatever the reason was, Sam couldn't blame him. 

He coughed in an attempt to get the angel’s attention. He looked up. 

‘’Oh Sam.’’ He said, surprised. ‘’How did it go?’’

‘’Yeah good. I got everything right here.’’ He said while laying the box with the purified blood on the table in front of Castiel. 

‘’Good. So, shall we start?’’ Castiel asked, getting up from his seat.

‘’Actually Cas, I was hoping we could talk for a second.’’ Sam said and he could notice the angel frown a little. Nevertheless, he said back down. 

‘’You’ve left the dungeon, why?’’ He asked hesitantly, while taking a seat opposite Cas. 

Castiel looked up uncertainly. It took him a moment to answer, it seemed like he had trouble finding words. 

‘’Yes, I apologise. It um… I just needed a break.’’

‘’Cas you don’t have to apologise it’s no big deal.’’ He reassured Castiel. ‘’I was just wondering if it had anything to do with what has happened between the two of you. I thought… maybe you’d like to talk about it? It can help you know.’’

Castiel’s frown had returned. ‘’Sam I don’t see how this is of any import right now.’’ He said confusedly. ''Surely it would be better if we just started with the cure?’’

It pained Sam a little to hear Castiel say that what had happened to him wasn’t of any import. He sighed. ‘’Cas, I want to go cure him too, really. But I just want to make sure that you’re okay.’’

Castiel smiled. ‘’Thank you Sam.’’

‘’So… you are?’’

As a response, Castiel suddenly looked down and Sam had his answer. He was right, Castiel wasn’t okay.

‘’What happened, Cas?’’ He asked softly.

Castiel took a moment to answer. ‘’Umm… It- I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but I…’’ He seemed to have trouble wording himself. ‘’Dean, he was… saying these things and I just couldn’t put up with it anymore.’’ He said, shaking his head slightly.

Castiel wasn’t being very specific but Sam tried to sooth him a little nevertheless. ‘’That’s okay Cas, I know he must have put you through a lot, I-I can’t imagine. Just know that what he’s saying… it’s not the real Dean talking.’’

Castiel smiled a little and nodded.

‘’You know what? I think I will be able to handle the injections on my own.’’

‘’No, Sam that’s not necessary, I can handle it.’’ Castiel interjected.

‘’I know you can, but you don’t have to. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? He’s not going to get out of that trap. I could just call you if there are any complications.’’ He proposed. 

Castiel took a moment to contemplate his idea, but agreed eventually. 

‘’You’re sure that you won’t mind me stepping outside for a moment?’’

Sam smiled. ‘’No, not at all Cas.’’ 

So, Castiel stood up and made for the door while Sam picked up the box with the blood bags and made for the dungeon. 

Soon, Dean would be cured and they would be fine, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think the next chapter is going to be the last, though i'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Thanks for reading though!!
> 
> -Laura


	9. You look worried, fellas.

Sam was glad that Castiel had agreed to stay back for a while. He really thought it was for the best, considering how upset the angel had looked moments before. Dean really had done a number on him, Sam thought. Castiel wasn’t specific, but it was clear to him that his brother had been trying to get in his head. He figured that he could expect the same. 

He pushed the shelves aside and the lights in the dungeon went on. Dean looked up at him with a menacing expression. Sam walked over towards the table and put the box down. 

‘’Really?’’ Asked Dean.

‘’For whatever it’s worth, I got your blood type.’’ Sam said and faked a smile, trying to look more confident than he actually was.

‘’Sam, I know you think you’re gonna try and fix me, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be fixed? Just let me go live my life. I won’t bother you. What do you care?’’ He asked

Dean’s question bothered him; he couldn’t believe Dean was asking why he cared. ‘’What do I care?-‘’ He asked, and he wanted to continue; he wanted to reason with Dean, but he stopped himself. He knew what Dean was trying to do and Sam decided not to let him. He decided he wouldn’t let Dean get the best of him. So, he got back to his task. He opened the box and filled the syringes with the purified blood. When he was done, he grabbed the flask of holy water and started splashing it on the floor, chanting the incantation. 

Dean wasn’t done talking though. ‘’You think I’m just gonna sit here like Crowley? Getting all weepy while you shoot me up? Well, screw that. I don’t want this!’’ He shouted. 

‘’Yeah, I pretty much figured that out.’’ He responded curtly.

‘’You don’t even know if this is gonna work, do you? You know, I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.’’ Dean sneered. 

Dean was right, he wasn’t sure if it would work. He knew that Dean wasn’t an ordinary demon, but the cure of purified blood was simply the only option. So, he picked up a filled syringe.

‘’Mark of Cain, got it.’’ 

‘’That’s right.’’

Sam walked closer to Dean with the syringe in his hand. ‘’Buckle up.’’ 

‘’Sammy, you know I hate shots.’’ Dean said.

‘’I hate demons.’’ He responded. 

All of a sudden, Dean’s eyes turned black and Sam hit him with the holy water causing him to yell. Sam quickly plunged the needle in his brother’s arm and Dean groaned in pain while Sam emptied the syringe in his arm. 

‘’Look, we got a whole bunch more of these to go. You could make it a lot easier on yourself.’’ He advised Dean.

Dean only grunted and groaned; it seemed like the blood was already taking some effect.

After having left the dungeon for an hour, Sam returned to the dungeon. It was time for the next injection. Dean didn’t fight him when he slid another needle into his arm. When he emptied it’s the syringes contents into it, Dean groaned in pain again.

‘’For all you know, you could be killing me.’’ He said. 

‘’Or… you’re just messing with me. Either way, the lore doesn’t say anything about exceptions to the cure.’’ Sam responded. 

Apparently, his response was funny to Dean; he chuckled. ‘’The lore. Hunters. Men of Letters. What a load of crap it all is!’’ Dean said, obviously trying to get a rise out of him. Sam kept quiet though. ‘’Oh, you got nothing?’’ Dean asked. 

‘’You want me to debate you? This isn’t even the real you I’m talking to.’’ He responded calmly. 

‘’Oh, it’s the real me, all right. The new real me, the me that sees things for what they really are…’’ Dean huffed. ‘’Winchesters. Do-gooders. Fighting the natural order. Let me tell you something; guys like me, we are the natural order. It’s the way it was set up.’’

‘’Guys like me still got to do what we can.’’ He responded. 

‘’Don’t be so full of yourself, Sammy. Cause, see, from where I’m sitting… there ain’t much difference from what I turned into to what you already are.’’ Dean sneered.

‘’And what exactly is that supposed to mean?’’

‘’I know what you did when you went looking for me. I know how far you went. Crowley told me all about it. So let me ask you, which one of us is really a monster? Hmm?’’

Sam let out a breath as he thought back. He couldn’t deny Dean’s words; he did go far. Too far, but he remembered just being so desperate to find Dean. Yet, he knew it wasn’t an excuse for what he did. 

‘’Starting to come back to you now?’’ Dean said, interrupting his thoughts. ‘’You were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag. But Crowley didn’t want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you found a way, didn’t you, Sam?’’ He paused for a moment. ‘’You would have liked to have gotten there before the deal went down, but you didn’t really care about poor old Lester, did you? Oh, and so you know, I killed Lester myself. And that wife of his… married the tattooed guy.’’

Guilt washed over him. The guy was dead now and it was all his fault. He slammed his hand down on the table and closed his eyes.

‘’I never meant-‘’

‘’Who cares what you meant!?’’ Dean interrupted. ‘’That line that we thought was so clear between us and the things that we hunted, ain’t so clear is it? Wow! You might actually be worse than me! I mean, you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul. Nice work.’’ Dean said sarcastically and he chuckled.

Sam plunged the next needle into Dean’s neck. A few seconds later, Dean was screaming in pain. Sam walked back to the table, turning his back on Dean. He tossed the syringe away and leaned over the table, pain and regret on his face.

Apparently Dean had recovered a little because he spoke again. ‘’And I haven’t even started on Castiel; on what you have put that poor sonofabitch through.’’ Dean said and chuckled. For a moment, Sam’s breath got stuck in his throat. He didn’t know if he wanted to hear what was coming next. 

‘’I mean; how could you do that Sammy? How could you leave him, your friend, all alone, knowing that he was so weak? You probably didn’t even care what would happen to him next hmm? Cause he had become all but useless to you, hadn’t he?’’

‘’It wasn’t like that.’’ He croaked out. 

‘’Hmm, course it wasn’t… But hey, I’m not complaining, I had lots of fun with the angel. Sure, it was a little rough at first, but it really didn’t take me all that long for him to follow my orders like a good little pet. I would have never have guessed how great of a fuck that nerdy angel would have turned out to be.’’ Dean said, smiling. ‘’But come to think of it, I have corrupted him so thoroughly you can hardly call him an angel anymore.’’ He laughed. ‘’And I actually got you to thank for all of that!’’

Sam felt sick. Hearing about what had happened to Lester was bad, but hearing about what happened to Castiel was even worse. Lester was a guy he hardly knew, Castiel on the other hand, was his friend. He already felt terrible for having left Castiel alone to be abducted, but upon hearing what had happened to him, he felt even worse. 

‘’Let me ask you this, Sammy. If this doesn’t work, we both know what you got to do to me, right? You got the stomach for that, Sam!?’’ He asked with an angered tone. 

Now, Sam completely understood why Castiel had decided to leave. Dean knew exactly what to say in order to push his buttons, and he figured his brother was also able to do that to Castiel. Sam also decided to go, he had heard enough. 

He would be back in an hour. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

He woke up feeling someone slapping his face and calling out his name.

‘’Hey! Hey! Dean! Come on! Come back.’’ Sam said anxiously. He was shaking him wildly. ‘’Come back to me. You there? Hey! Dean, you okay?’’

‘’Yeah, if you consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils ‘okay’.’’ He responded grimacing. Dean couldn’t believe he had passed out. Their stupid fucking cure was actually working, he thought. He needed to stop Sam; the injections were painful but moreover, he didn’t want to be turned back.

Sam stood up. ‘’Look, I can’t stop doing this.’’ He said, and it was almost as if he was reading his thoughts.  
‘’Sure you can. You just stop! There’s no point in trying to bring your brother back now.’’ He attempted.

‘’Oh, I will bring him back.’’ Sam responded resolutely.

‘’In fact, your uh… guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. But I’m loving the new model: Lean, mean, Dean.’’

‘’Right.’’ Sam said, turning his back on him.

Sam seemed resolute not to let his words get to him. Dean only saw that as a challenge. ‘’You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just… tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since,’’ Dean laughed. ‘’forever. Or maybe… maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!’’ 

‘’This isn’t my brother talking.’’ Sam said turning around, smiling. Yet, Dean could see right through his façade, he knew that his words were slowly getting to him. 

‘’You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what: I quit.’’

This seemed to get Sam upset. ‘’No. No, you don’t. You don’t get to quit. We don’t get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!’’ He yelled. 

‘’Well, then, we got nothing.’’ He sneered.

‘’Would you say that to Dad?’’ Sam responded.

He couldn’t believe that Sam was being serious. ‘’Dad? Oh, there’s a prize. There’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!’’

Sam turned away from him and prepared another syringe.

‘’Oh. Ooh. Is this you manning up?’’ He asked. 

‘’This is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire.’’ Sam responded before jabbing the needle into his arm, filling his veins again with another dose of purified blood.

‘’You’re welcome.’’ Sam said and left the room. 

 

 

xxx

 

 

He decided to go to Dean’s room. For some reason, he felt like going there. He just needed to feel close to Dean, to the Dean who cared at least. He stood in his brother’s room and looked around. He smiled seeing a slice of pie on his nightstand. Then, walking over to the table, he could see photo’s lying on top of it. He looked at them for a while, smiling. Then he dropped the pictures back where he found them, walking from the room. He still had a job to finish.

He walked through the hallways and arrived at the dungeon door. Yet, to his surprise, he found that the chair Dean had been sitting in was empty. Shock washed over him, he couldn’t understand how this could happen. 

Suddenly, he could hear doors being slammed open and shut. Dean must be looking for him, he thought. Sam was just glad that he was still in the bunker, maybe he could still get Dean back into the chair somehow. He needed to keep him in the bunker, he decided. So, he carefully made his way down the hall to the kitchen. There, he grabbed the set of keys from the control room out of a drawer. 

Suddenly, he could hear Dean yell. ‘’Come on, Sammy! Don’t you want to hang out with your big brother? Spend a little quality time?’’

Sam ignored him and made his way to the control room. Using the keys, he entered and made for the switch. He flipped it, and suddenly all the lights turned off. Instead, Red lights started to flash all over the bunker and an alarm began to sound. 

‘’Smart, Sam! Locking the place down. Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing… I don’t want to leave! Not until I find you!’’ He could hear Dean yell.

Sam moved around the corner and just hoped his plan would work. Right now, he could only hope that Dean would come and enter the room.

‘’Sammy! You’re just making this worse for yourself, man! Oh, by the way, you can, uh… blame yourself for me getting loose. All that blood you pumped into me to make me human, well; the less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked. And that Devil’s Trap? Well, I just walked right across it. It smarted, but still.’’

Sam was surprised to hear how Dean had gotten out. He and Cas hadn’t even thought of that. Nevertheless, it was too late now to further think about it. He needed to focus on the matter at hand. Fortunately, his plan was working. Dean came and walked into the control room. Moments later, the power was turned back on. ‘’Yeah, that’s more like it.’’ He could hear Dean say. 

As fast as he could, Sam rushed over and pulled the door shut, locking Dean inside. He threw the keys on the ground and stood at the door with Ruby’s knife in his hand.

‘’That’s your big move?’’ He heard Dean say from the other side of the door. 

‘’Listen to me, Dean! We were getting close, okay? I know you’re still in there somewhere. Just let me finish the treatments.’’ He pleaded, standing close to the door. Yet, no answer came from inside the room. ‘’Dean?’’ He asked. 

Sam jumped back as the door suddenly began to splinter. He watched as the door began to break from the bashing of Dean’s hammer.

‘’You act like I want to be cured!’’ Dean yelled, continuing slamming the hammer into the wood. ‘’Personally, I like the disease.’’ He said, and Sam could see Dean smile. 

‘’Dean, stop that! Look, I don’t want to use this blade on you!’’ He said desperately. 

‘’That sucks for you, doesn’t it? Cause you really mean that!’’

‘’Look, if you come out of that room, I won’t have a choice!’’ He continued.

‘’Sure you will! And I know which one you’ll make. Isn’t that right, Sammy? But see, here’s the thing. I’m lucky. Oh, hell, I’m blessed! Cause there’s just enough demon left in me that killing you? Ain’t no choice at all.’’

Sam ran, he could see that the door wouldn’t hold much longer. 

‘’Sammy!? Come on, Sammy! Let’s have a beer, talk about it.’’ He paused shortly. ‘’I’m tired of playing… Let’s finish this game!’’ Dean yelled. 

Sam was breathing hard, back up against the wall. He tried to even out his breathing; he had to stay quiet. He looked around the corner down the hall, but it was empty. When he turned back around, he ducked just in time. Dean had swung the hammer at his head, fortunately, it missed and hit the wall. Reacting on instinct, Sam swiftly pushed his knife against Dean’s throat. 

Dean only smiled. ‘’Well, look at you… Do it. It’s all you.’’

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just slice his brother’s throat, but he also couldn’t drop the knife, Dean would kill him if he did. He was debating his options, but then he could suddenly see Castiel appear in the hallway, a short distance behind Dean. Sam was relieved, now, he wouldn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to. So, he let the knife fall. Dean smiled, thinking he had resigned, and his eyes went black. He took a step towards him, but he was stopped. Castiel had wrapped his arms around Dean from behind and held him in a tight grip. Dean grunted and groaned but wasn’t able to get free. 

‘’It’s over.’’ Castiel said and Sam could see the angel’s eyes lighten up blue and bright with grace. ‘’Dean, it’s over.’’ He repeated to Dean. ‘’It’s over.’’

 

 

xxx

 

 

Castiel was glad that he had gone back when he did; things almost went completely wrong.

With a considerable amount of effort, he and Sam were able to get Dean back to the dungeon and back to the chair. Knowing that the devil’s trap and handcuffs had lost their effect, they only used the rope on him this time. However, they agreed to both stay in the room until the cure was finished. They didn’t know how much more injections it would take, but they decided to go on with it anyways. When Sam had injected another dose of blood into Dean, he groaned out in pain, and moments later, he blacked out again. 

Sam walked over towards him and went to stand beside him. ‘’What the hell are we doing to him, Cas?’’ He asked, looking defeated. ‘’I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human.’’

‘’Well, I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier.’’ He responded.

All of a sudden, Dean woke up. Both he and Sam immediately turned to look at him. Dean was looking up at them with black eyes. Yet, after a few seconds, the black dissipated from them. Next to him, Sam was unscrewing the flask of holy water in his hand. 

Dean groaned and looked around, uncertain, while he and Sam were still watching him carefully.

‘’You look worried, fellas.’’ Dean said with a small smile. 

Sam looked at him uncertainly before turning towards Dean, splashing holy water on his face. 

Nothing happened.

‘’Welcome back, Dean.’’ Sam said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one contained a lot of dialogue of the actual episodes, I hope it wasn't too much? It just seemed important to keep it in. Excuse me for being unoriginal in that respect.
> 
> But yaay Dean is cured! I love happy endings. Although i'm not so sure if you could call this ending that since there is still much that needs to be resolved between Dean and Cas... Oh well.. At any rate, thank you for reading this first attempt at writing something, i hope you enjoyed it! Comments and feedback are very welcome, would love to hear what you think or could have been better. 
> 
> \- Laura


End file.
